Heartbreak and Fishnet Friday

I got my heart broken yesterday. I’ve been dating a guy for the last few months that I developed feelings for. He seemed like everything I’ve been looking for. Just perfect for me and I felt a deep soul connection with him. Too good to be true. I knew it was but I went for it anyway despite all my internal alarms going off telling me that I was going to get hurt. I didn’t listen and now I’m hating myself for it. 

To make matters worse, I got his message as soon as I left therapy, where I was dealing with some deep and intense childhood trauma. So, I was feeling very raw and emotional. And that heartbreak sunk deep into my soul.

I’ve been crying in bed for 24 hours and I can’t seem to find the strong independent woman inside myself. I don’t know why I allow people to get through my walls. They always hurt me. One day, maybe I’ll be enough. One day, maybe I won’t be too much. One day, maybe I'll get back what I give to others. That day is not today. 

Anyway, it’s fishnet Friday and I don’t have the emotional energy to take a new photo for you. So, here’s a throwback to April. 

I Love Being a First

It had been two years since I last fucked DJ. I found myself thinking about him a lot, so I sent him a message. After talking to him a bit, he seemed to miss me too. So, a few weeks ago, I invited him over.

When he got to my place, we were both pretty nervous. I invited him into my room where we laid next to each other on the bed and talked for a while. His voice put me at ease and soon I was feeling completely comfortable. 

Suddenly, the conversation took a turn and things started to get hot. We started making out and I was reminded how good of a kisser he is. He began sucking and biting on my neck, turning me into a pile of goo in his hands.

He made his way down to my chest, grabbing and sucking on my tits. I moaned and ran my fingers through his hair. I could feel my pussy getting super wet. I kept thinking about his soft fingers being inside me.

I took off my dress and my bra. When I did, he looked at my ass in my panties and said, "Fuck, you're so hot." I blushed and hurried back to making out with him so he wouldn't notice.

DJ jumped up on his knees and crawled to the end of the bed. He flipped my legs up on his shoulders and then bent down to lick my clit. Fuck, he's so good at that. I moaned as he ate my pussy like he missed it so much. He put his amazing fingers inside me and my whole body shook with pleasure. He fucked me with his fingers until I came all over them.

When he finished, he laid back down next to me and I shoved his cock in my mouth. I definitely missed that. I sucked on it slowly at first and listened to all the little moans coming out of his mouth. They made me even wetter, if that was possible. I started sucking a little faster and slid his cock all the way down my throat as far as it would go. "Good girl," he said, as I chose choking on his cock over breathing air. I moaned when I heard those words and almost came right there. I sucked faster, listening to his breathing getting more ragged. Enjoying all of those little moans he let out.

My jaw started to hurt and I needed to catch my breath, so I stopped sucking and went back up to kiss him. I said, "Do you want to fuck me?" Then, I kissed him again. He said he did, so I got ready and in position.

I was lying on my back and DJ said, "No, I need you to flip over so I can use those braids as handlebars." I smiled really big and enthusiastically flipped over. He slid his cock inside me and my eyes rolled back as I moaned. I had missed that cock so much. He grabbed my braids and pulled on them as he pounded my pussy. It made my body shake in pleasure. I was so turned on that the wetness was just dripping out of my pussy. He fucked me harder and I started to squirt all over him. My body was convulsing in orgasmic pleasure and it just kept squirting everywhere. It kind of freaked him out because that had never happened to him before. I felt bad but he said it was a good thing once he realized I was okay.

DJ laid down and I started sucking his cock again. I knew that he had never cum in someone's mouth before and I really wanted to be the first. So, I was really hoping he would finish in my mouth that night. I sucked faster and faster but wasn't able to get him to that point. So, he started jerking it himself as I licked the head. Then, finally, he filled my mouth with his delicious cum. I swirled it around in my mouth and then opened up to show him it was sitting on my tongue. Then, I swallowed every last drop. Mmmm. 

I feel so special getting to be the first one that got to taste his cum. And let me tell you, it really was delicious. Everything about this man is delicious. I sure hope we get to fuck again soon.

Steaming Hot Sex with Mia

Mia and I went to an age play meetup on Wednesday night. She has been so accepting of my Little side, which I was honestly scared to show her. She fell right into the roll of caretaker without any prompting at all. She is always taking care of me in little ways that mean so much and getting things for me that help me to express my Little side. I have been opening up little bits at a time and letting her in. I've let her in on this more than anyone else. It's been an emotional journey but so exciting as well.

After the event, we came back to Mia's place. We cuddled in our bed together and talked about random things for a while. Then, things got serious and we started making out. Soft at first, then more passionately. 

Mia started kissing my chest and then sucking and biting my cleavage. I moaned as I felt her mouth on my skin. I started running my hand over her thigh and down her leg. Her skin felt so soft and it turned me on.

We made out some more. Our tongues swirling around, tasting each other. I bit her lip a bit and it really got her excited. She moaned and I pulled her in closer to me.

Suddenly, Mia reached down and started rubbing my vulva on top of my panties. They were already wet from my excitement. She pulled them aside and started rubbing my clit. My breath caught in my throat as I felt her fingers gliding across my wetness. I looked into her eyes and she started rubbing faster. Soon, I was cumming on her fingers, soaking my panties.

I was trying to catch my breath when Mia said, "Get up." It took me a second to really hear her through the fog of the intense orgasm she just gave me. So, she repeated herself. "Get up." I stood up next to her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed. She said, "Take off your dress." I did as I was told. 

Mia grabbed my hips from behind and pulled me close to her. She started kissing and biting my back and ass, leaving small bruises behind. She wrapped her hands around me and grabbed my breasts. I took my bra off so I could feel her hands on my breasts. She massaged them while she continued to lick, kiss, and nibble my backside. I put my hands on top of hers and gently caressed them.

She told me to turn around, so I did. She put her face between my tits and squeezed them. She started sucking on my nipples as I held her hair out of her face. She was very into it and I felt like I was getting drunk on her energy. 

Mia stood up, took off her dress, and pushed me against the wall. She started making out with me again. Then, she moved down to my neck. Kissing, licking, nibbling. I reached my hands behind her and removed her bra. Then, she mashed her tits into mine and we both moaned.

We kissed some more, our hands exploring each other's bodies. Then, suddenly, she forcefully pulled my panties down. She grabbed my right hand and pinned it above my head. She pushed me against the wall with her body and then shoved the fingers of her other hand into my pussy. She fucked my cunt hard and I moaned loudly. I couldn't hold back. As I orgasmed, I squirted all over. It hit the hard wood floor, making a splashing sound. That was the first time I ever heard it like that and it was so exciting.

Mia grabbed the strap-on and ordered me to bend over. I bent over the bed and she shoved her cock deep inside me. She fucked me hard, holding on to my hips as she thrusted. I moaned as I grasped the bed sheet in my hands.

She told me to turn around and then pushed me onto the bed. She knelt in front of me, threw my legs up on her shoulders, and shoved her cock inside me once more. She fucked me even harder this time. I started cumming almost immediately. 

She laid her body on top of mine and I wrapped my legs around her waist. She started fucking me again. I dug my nails into her back as she made me cum, squirting all over the bed. 

At this point, she slowed a bit, softer this time. I felt her long strokes, hitting deep inside me. I tried to hold back but I couldn't. I orgasmed once again, soaking the bed even more.

Mia took off the strap, tore her panties off, and then straddled my leg. She said, "I'm sorry, my pussy is so wet." I moaned, "Fuck, yes!" She started grinding her pussy on my thigh. I felt her wetness gliding over my thigh and it was just so fucking hot. I grabbed her hips and pulled her toward me. She started to move faster, rubbing her clit against my thigh. I heard her breathing get harder and ragged. I moaned, "Fuck! Yes, baby!" She started to cum, which made me cum too. My pussy wasn't even being touched at the time but it was so fucking hot, it pushed me over the edge. 

She got up and grabbed a vibrator. Then, she got in position to scissor me with the vibrator between our clits. After we got it in the right place, she started grinding on my pussy. Fuck, it felt good. I loved feeling her pussy on mine. I looked at her face as she rode on top of me. It looked intense and full of pleasure. It sent me over the edge and I moaned, "I'm gonna cum!" Then, we both came together again. I squirted on her pussy and it turned me on so much. 

She started kissing me and I thought she was done at this point. I was wrong. She threw the vibrator aside and straddled my thigh again. She started grinding her pussy on my leg as she rubbed my clit with her fingers. I was so wet that her fingers glided across my clit very easily. Fuck, it was so sensitive. As soon as she started to cum, I came again with her.

She collapsed on the bed next to me, rightfully exhausted. I started to kiss her breasts. I licked around the outside, teasing her. Then, I made my way to her nipple. I sucked on it, massaging it with my tongue. Then, I made my way to the other breast and did the same. I kissed my way up her chest and to her neck. Then, I kissed, sucked, and bit her. She tried biting me back. She got a couple in before I pushed her away. It was my turn to please her. 

I pulled her body in close to mine, then I parted her pussy lips and started to rub her clit. She was so fucking wet. I held her close as I made her cum a couple times. Then, she made me stop. She had finally had enough.

We held each other and cuddled for a while, recovering from our multiple orgasms. It was a very hot night and I can't wait to do it again.

Pleasure Dom

Bite mark that Graham left on my thigh

I recently started seeing someone new. I met Graham at a polyamorous meetup about a month ago. As soon as I saw him, I was instantly drawn to him. The first thing I noticed was his amazing eyes. After talking to him for a bit, I realized he's quite nerdy as well. He's basically everything that I'm attracted to wrapped up in a very sexy package. We started talking a couple days after we met and two weeks ago, he came over for sex. It has been a while, so things aren't very fresh in my memory, but I'm going to do my best to recall them. 

I was nervous but also very excited. I kept trying to decide what to wear when it hit me. Why put regular clothes on that are just going to be taken off right away? So, I decided to wear lingerie instead.

When Graham got to my house, I answered the door wearing the lingerie dress I had picked out. It turned out to be a perfect idea because he was basically speechless when he saw me. He growled, pulled me close, and kissed me. Then, he asked me to lead the way to the bedroom.

We went to the bedroom and started making out, slowly taking off our clothes. He grabbed one of my breasts and started to suck on my nipple. Then, he pushed me down on the bed. I started to scoot back and then realized he was diving in between my thighs. He licked my clit as I caressed his very soft hand. It felt incredible. I just laid there and got lost in the feeling.

After a while, he climbed on top of me and started to kiss me. Then, he asked if I'd like to taste him. I said, "Absolutely." He laid down and I kissed my way down to his cock, then licked it from the base of the shaft to the head, swirling my tongue around it. I got it nice and wet and then slowly started to suck it. It was delicious, just as I had imagined. I sucked very slowly, making sure to savor every bit of it. Then, I shoved it deep into my throat. He said, “You must be into cock worship.” And until that moment, I didn't realize that I definitely am. So, that's a new thing.

I came up for air and started to make out with him again. Then, I laid down and he climbed on top of me. He slid his cock inside my pussy and I couldn't help but moan as he was entering me. It felt like I had waited so long for that moment and it was definitely not disappointing. 

I was on the edge of the bed, so he told me to wrap my arms around him. I wrapped my arms and legs around him tightly and he held me close as he continued to fuck me. His cock filled me up so well. I got completely lost in that moment.

He asked if I would like him to be gentle or rough. I told him he could be rough. He sat up on his knees and fucked me harder while rubbing my clit with his fingers. Then, he flipped me over and fucked me from behind for a while.

He asked if I wanted to play with some toys, so I grabbed my favorite dildo. He said he wanted to DP me with it. So, he put it inside my pussy and then put his cock in as well. I can't even tell you how many orgasms I had while he fucked me like that.

He said he wanted to watch me ride him, so he laid down and I climbed on top of him. I started off slowly at first, then as soon as I began to move faster, I started cumming all over him. The orgasm was so intense that I fell on top of him and basically started convulsing.

We took a break so I could recover and I was completely drunk on ecstasy. I got lost in his eyes and probably said some embarrassing things during this time. My brain was mush at this point. I remember kissing a lot and just being in what felt like subspace.

After I was somewhat recovered, I started to suck his cock again. I did it faster this time and he asked if I was trying to make him cum. I honestly was just really getting into it. I wasn't trying to end things.

I laid down and he got on top of me and started to fuck me again. Then, I asked him if I could flip over again and grab my vibrator. I came really hard as he fucked me, then he told me that he wanted me on the edge of the bed so he could fuck me really hard. I was totally down for that, so I got up and bent over the end of the bed. 

He fucked me really hard while I rubbed my clit with my fingers. Then, he stopped and asked, "Do you want a drink?" I smiled and said, "Yes." Then, I got down on my knees and opened my mouth as he stroked his cock. When he started to cum, I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock and drank every drop of his cum. 

The sex we had was very hot and so amazing. I know I didn't do it justice because I haven't had the time to write about it until now. We fucked for 2 hours and afterward, he asked if I had kept count of my orgasms. I didn't even think about it! Not that my brain would have been able to keep track while it was so mushy. The thing is, Graham is a pleasure dom. That means he makes it his mission to give his lovers as many orgasms as possible. So, he did his best to keep count of my orgasms. I think the orgasm count was 35, according to him. That feels very accurate to me. Like I said, amazing.

One of my favorite things about having sex with Graham was that he kept saying sweet things to me the whole time. Calling me a good girl, saying I'm beautiful, and things like that. It turned me on and made me smile. How is he the perfect mix of cute & sweet and hot & sexy? Fuuuuck. 

I'm so excited to experience more with Graham. We actually have another date night tonight. I'll try to update about it sooner than last time.

Sinful Sunday: Fucking Myself

I had a weekend home alone, so I invited DJ over for sex on Friday night. He ended up standing me up, so I was really sad. Saturday, I invited Jacob over. But he wasn’t available.

So, my weekend that I had hoped would be full of amazing sex was a bust. 

What do I do when I can’t find anyone to come over to fuck me? I put on some sexy lingerie and fuck myself.

 Kiss the lips below to see who else is sinning.

A Valentine's Day Fantasy

It was Valentine's Day but we had never really made a huge deal of it in the past. This year, we decided to go out to dinner. Things have been very busy and stressful lately. It was really nice to take some time to reconnect.

The food was wonderful and the conversation was even better. We started talking about our hectic schedules and all of the stress we've been under. Though, it didn't take long before things got very steamy. We talked about all the things we wished we could do to each other if only we had the time. I fidgeted in my seat. The more we talked, the more my clit became engorged. I wanted to touch myself but I was too scared that someone would notice. I rushed through my food, hoping to get some relief once we returned home.

On the ride home, we talked about what we wanted to do once we got inside the house. I kept thinking about his cock, imagining it sliding into my hungry cunt. I needed it so badly. I touched myself gently, on top of my clothes. My crotch was very wet. I let out a tiny sigh. Fuck, I just couldn't wait to feel him inside me.

As soon as the front door closed, Husband pushed me against the wall and kissed me hard. He wrapped his hand around my neck and I melted into him. He kissed the side of my neck, working his way up to my ear. He whispered, "Go to the bedroom, remove your clothes, lie down on the bed, and put on the blindfold. Wait for me there." I couldn't find the words to respond, so I just did as I was told.

It felt like an eternity, just lying on the bed in total darkness, waiting. I wanted him...no, I NEEDED him. It was all I could think about. I rocked my hips, imagining his cock filling me up. I moaned slightly, wishing he would hurry.

Finally, I heard the bedroom door open. My body quivered with excitement. "Please hurry, I need you inside me." He laughed a little and said, "Be patient, my little slut." I moaned again, he knew my weakness. That word always turns me to goo.

I felt his hand softly caress my leg. Then, I felt his other hand touch my thigh. "Oh, yes. Higher." I felt another hand gently touch my stomach. Wait, three hands? Before I could even process, a fourth hand tickled my arm. A fifth hand began stroking my breast. A sixth on my cheek, caressing my face. I moaned loudly. What was happening? A seventh hand grabbed my other breast and pinched my nipple. Then, one more hand grabbed hold of my hair and pulled, lifting my face to meet theirs. They kissed me hard. I tasted their tongue and I could tell it was Husband. "Oh, fuck!" I wanted to take the blindfold off to see who was touching me but I knew he wouldn't let me do that.

I was confused and excited, feeling as though I was about to burst. So many hands touching me at the same time. This had always been a big fantasy of mine, ever since I realized that I had a hand fetish. I felt like I was losing my mind. The pleasure was so intense. I couldn't stop myself from moaning out. I didn't want it to end. I felt like I was floating up into the clouds.

The hands caressed my body, moving all over until they had touched every spot. Every spot, except my clit. I arched my back, begging to be touched in my sweet spot. I could feel the wetness dripping out of my cunt, teasing me further. I cried out, "Please, I need to cum." Husband laughed again, "Alright, I guess we've teased you enough."

When I felt Husband's finger slide up the slit of my pussy, I moaned loudly. "Oh, fuck! Yes!" I was so wet, his fingers glided effortlessly over my clit. He swirled around it slowly and my breath became ragged. He increased speed slightly and I arched my back in response. "Please don't stop." He sped up a little more and whispered in my ear, "Cum for me, baby." I instantly felt a wave of pleasure flow through my body. I tried to hold back but it was too strong. I moaned so loudly that even the neighbors could hear.

As I was trying to catch my breath, Husband said, "Good girl. Now, we're going to take turns fucking that sweet pussy. I hope you're ready." Husband climbed on top of me, grabbed my arms, and held them over my head. The head of his cock teased the opening to my cunt. I whined, wanting him to enter me already. "I know how much you want this. You're such a dirty little slut," he said, as he shoved his cock inside me. He fucked me hard as he kissed me passionately. I was so turned on that I squirted all over him as he fucked me. I wanted to tell him how good it felt to feel him inside me but I couldn't form the words. I just moaned with every thrust. He let go of one of my hands, allowing me to touch myself. I rubbed my clit as he continued to fuck me. I could feel his cock throbbing inside me. When I started to cum, he fucked me harder until he emptied his load deep inside me.

When Husband got up, he said, "Who's next?" My body started shaking a little. I was so nervous but incredibly excited. I felt someone else climb on top of me. He teased my clit with the head of his cock, making me moan some more. Suddenly, he lifted my legs up on his chest and shoved his cock into my pussy. He fucked me hard and fast. I could barely catch my breath. My pussy was squirting everywhere, even on my face. I licked my lips and started to rub my clit again. I heard him say, "Fuck yeah!" I began to cum around his cock as he filled me with his cum.

The second man got up and a third man replaced him. He grabbed my legs and pushed them up over my head. Then, he slid his cock inside my greedy cunt. It still wanted more. He continued to fuck me slowly and I whined. I didn't want to be teased anymore. I needed him to pound my pussy. I rocked my hips, thrusting with him, making his thrusts that much more powerful. He cried out, "Fuck, you feel so good. I can't last long when you do that." I didn't care. What I really wanted was his cum, filling me up. I began to thrust into him even harder, rubbing my very swollen clit again. My pussy tightened around his cock as I orgasmed and he lost it. He moaned loudly and emptied more cum deep inside me.

When it was the fourth man's turn, he asked, "Can I flip her over?" Husband approved, so I flipped over onto my hands and knees. I wasn't sure if I could take anymore but I didn't really have a choice. I felt him squeeze my ass, then he shoved his cock inside me. His cock was so big, I was glad he waited to go last. He grabbed my hips and thrust into me so hard. I reached under myself and touched my clit. It cried out, feeling overspent. I just needed one more orgasm. I touched it anyway, hoping it would submit. I was so wet with all of the cum that was dripping out of my pussy. I rubbed it into my clit. I thought about how slutty I was being and it made me shudder with excitement. I felt a thumb rub my asshole, gently pushing inside my ass. It pushed me over the edge. I moaned out as I came hard around his huge cock and he came with me, filling my hole even more.

When they were all done, Husband told me to lie down and spread my legs. He said, "Wow, look at all of that cum dripping out of your greedy cunt. You're such a dirty little slut. I bet you loved that." I still couldn't form words. All I could do was respond with a moan of, "Mhmmm."

Sinful Sunday: Slut

The Sinful Sunday prompt for February is One Word, meaning that you must convey the meaning of a word through your photograph.

My word is slut.





When I was younger, the word slut always had a negative connotation. If someone called you a slut, it meant that you should feel ashamed. It was bad for a woman to have a lot of sex partners. I focused on that way too much. I was always afraid of my number of sexual partners getting too high. What would people think of me?

In my thirties, I got over that. Now, I embrace the fact that I'm a slut. It turns me on when my partner calls me slutty. I get off on it.

I AM a slut and that is okay.

My February PhotoFest posts from previous years can be found in the links below:
February Photofest 2018
February Photofest 2019

Retreating

Things have been difficult lately. I've been having issues with depression and anxiety. My self-confidence is seriously lacking right now. I don't feel sexy or attractive in the least bit. There's been so much stress in my life that I've just retreated from everything.

This all started a year ago. I fell down some stairs last summer and sprained my foot badly. This prevented me from working out in the gym as I normally did every day. I couldn't get out much because of the pain, so I did a lot of sitting around at home. I was lonely and depressed, so I self-medicated with food. I also started having intense anxiety around this time. Just as my foot finally started to feel better, I had to have emergency surgery. So, that put me in the same position as I was just about to get out of. During this time, I gained a lot of weight and I feel so gross. It's been about six months since I've been fully healed and I just haven't been able to motivate myself to get back into the gym. My stamina is way down and I'm basically starting from the beginning. It's painful and I just don't want to do it. I know I need to but I have to push through this depression to make it happen.

My sex life has definitely suffered. I can't bring myself to initiate sex because I feel so undesirable. Husband doesn't like to initiate things because he's convinced that I don't want him for some reason. So, he isn't initiating sex either. I tried to hint to Jacob a couple times that I would like to hook up with him, hoping that maybe he would help me feel attractive again but he declined. That means sex just isn't happening for me.

For a few months, I wallowed in my depression and accepted that this is just how my sex life (or lack thereof) is going to be from now on. Then, summer came and we had 2 weeks child-free. I felt desperate for a spark of excitement. I walked around the house naked every day. I would bend over at just the right moment in hopes that Husband would grab me and just start fucking me. I tried to get his attention every day and it just kept failing. I think we had sex once during that whole 2 weeks and that was because I woke him up with a blow job. So fucking depressing. After that, I basically just gave up. I feel defeated and unwanted.

Of course, because I'm not getting sex, I'm also feeling super irritable. Husband and I have been arguing a lot about stupid shit. That, in turn, makes us feel even further apart emotionally. It's definitely not helping the situation.

I don't really know what the answer to all of this is. Things are just very difficult right now. All I can do is retreat and hide in the dark place in my mind. Hopefully, I find some motivation soon and things turn around. I'm just so exhausted. I guess until I can start to feel sexy again, I'll just fake it.

Sinful Sunday: G is for Gag Reflex

Sinful Sunday is here again! It's the first Sunday of the month and that means it is prompt time! April's prompt is the letter G. The first thing that came to mind was "gag." When a friend of mine suggested the same thing, I decided to go with it.

I have mostly gotten my gag reflex sorted out, though I found that I am a little bit out of practice. I'm sure I will have lots of volunteers to help me with that.

On the left, you see me catching my breath for a second with tears streaming down my face. On the right, I am gagging on Jacob's cock as he fucks my face.
I think the hottest thing about these pictures is that Husband is the one who took them. He was almost bulging right out of his jeans as he watched.




Give the lips a kiss and see who else is sinning.

Spit Roast Party

It's been quite a while since the last time I hung out with G. He must have been on my mind the other day though because I had a pretty hot dream about him.

The dream began with a small party at G's house. People were spread out around the house, drinking alcohol and having conversations. In these situations, I'm always the odd one out. I tend to get really awkward and slink off to a corner, wishing that I could figure out how to start a conversation with someone. I stood around watching people for a while, then decided to go to the kitchen to get a drink refill.

When I walked into the kitchen, G was in there getting a drink as well.

"Hey, Ash! Are you having fun?"

"Yeah, it's a nice party." I looked down at my feet. "I'm sure I'd have more fun if I could stop being so awkward and actually conversate."

G walked across the kitchen, closer to me. "Aww, you're not as awkward as you think you are. Just go up and talk to someone. I know they would love to hear what you have to say."

"You're probably right," I giggled nervously. I started to pour a drink and spilled it all over the floor. "Oh jeez, that's pretty epic timing."

I grabbed a towel from the counter and bent down to clean up my mess. G came up behind me, lifted my dress, and grabbed my ass. I continued to wipe the floor as he rubbed his hard cock up against me. I stood up and turned around to look at him.

"Well, hello there," I said, a bit surprised.

"I bet I could make this party a bit more fun for you," G said with a smirk.

"Oh, you think so? Prove it."

I could see the mischief in G's eyes as he quickly flipped me around and bent me over the counter. I felt his rigid cock pressing against my hip as he smacked my ass. He pulled my panties down to the floor and smacked my ass once more. His hand slid down between my legs. I moaned as he began rubbing my clit.

"You're so wet already. I've barely touched you."

I didn't respond. I couldn't think straight. I could feel that I was getting so close to cumming. I focused on his fingers gliding across my clit. They circled around it over and over. My breathing increased and I started to pull away. He held me down harder on the countertop.

"I want you to cum for me, Ash. Then, I'm going to fuck you. Hard."

He grabbed hold of my hair and gave it a tug. At that moment, my whole body flushed and I started to cum. As I was trying to catch my breath, he pulled his cock out and shoved it inside my wet cunt. I moaned out and braced myself on the wall. He was pounding my pussy so hard that I could barely keep my moans contained.

I was startled by the sound of a man clearing his throat. I looked over at the doorway to see Husband, looking shocked, yet turned on.

"So, this is where you went off to," Husband said with a little laugh.

"I...I wasn't planning on it. It just...happened."

"Yeah? Well, now you're going to take my cock, too."

Husband walked over to us and dropped his pants. He grabbed my head, pushed me down onto my knees, and shoved his cock in my mouth. He fucked my throat deeply until tears ran down my face.

"I need to fuck that delicious pussy some more," G said as he pushed me down onto my hands and knees. He slid his cock into my hungry cunt once again and started to pound it as I continued to suck Husband's cock.

I was so aroused. I needed to cum so badly. I reached down to rub my clit. I was already so close. G increased his speed as Husband pulled my hair and shoved his cock even further down my throat. I lost it. I came so hard, squirting all over G and moaning around Husband's cock. A moment later, they both orgasmed as well, filling my holes with cum.

The guys helped me up and G tossed my panties to me.

"Wow, that definitely made this party a lot more fun. You weren't lying about that," I said, as I put my panties back on.

We grabbed our drinks and started to walk into the living room like nothing had happened. I blushed when people looked back at us, wondering where we've been. I couldn't believe I had just been spit roasted in the kitchen right in the middle of a party. I was feeling like such a slut and I loved it.

Spontaneous Fucking

Last Thursday afternoon, Jacob was sending me sext messages, as he does occasionally, and he mentioned wanting to get together for sex soon. So, I asked him when he wanted to do that. He responded, "I'm free tonight."

While I would normally be super excited about getting together with a FWB, I was feeling quite anxious about it this time. I haven't been feeling great lately. I've been fighting a deep depression which has left me feeling emotionally exhausted. My self confidence has taken a huge hit recently and I've been dealing with a lot of jealousy issues, which is very new to me. I was definitely not feeling sexy or worthy of anything sex related. I just kept thinking bad thoughts about myself and I wanted to say that I couldn't make it. Husband basically told me that I was being ridiculous and that I should go. So, in hopes that some sexy fun time would give my self confidence a much needed boost, I decided to go.


Jacob and I have been having sex for three years but it has always been in a threesome setting with Husband at our place. This time, however, it would be just the two of us and I went to his place for a change. I was still feeling quite anxious and unattractive, so when I showed up and he greeted me with a kiss at the door, I blushed. He gazed at my body, taking it all in. His breath caught in his throat and he said, "Wow! You look hot!" I blushed even harder and tried to hide my face. He walked behind me to check out my ass in the tight black jeans I wore just for him. He grabbed a handful of my ass and squeezed it hard. Then, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and started to kiss all over the right side of my neck. I instantly melted in his arms. As he continued to nuzzle my neck, I moaned out in pleasure and caressed the tops of his hands. He ran his hands slowly up my body and grabbed my tits, squeezing them hard and pulling me into him. I could feel his bulge poking my ass. I closed my eyes and imagined it inside me. My clit started to tingle.

We walked over to the couch and sat down next to each other. We talked for a few minutes, then Jacob moved one of my pigtail braids aside and started to kiss my neck again. He moved up to my mouth and we started making out. Our tongues gently caressed each other, becoming delicately entwined as things got hotter. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his rock hard cock. I rubbed it on top of his jeans while we continued to make out. After a bit, Jacob unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out. A huge smile spread across my face and I was overcome with a desire to touch it. We continued to make out for a bit while I stroked him with my hand. When we stopped kissing, I looked down at his cock and grinned again, "Mmmm. You have such a nice cock." I leaned down to give it a kiss, but instead, I plunged it in my mouth hungrily. I just couldn't resist. I needed to taste it.

I licked the head of Jacob's cock like a lollipop. I swirled my tongue around the tip, getting it nice and lubed up. I placed it in my mouth. Deeper. Deeper. I bobbed up and down slowly, sliding it deeper with every stroke, until I swallowed it deep into my throat. He moaned out, grabbed hold of my pigtails, and started to fuck my throat. My eyes started to water and I couldn't breathe but I didn't care. It was so fucking hot. My clit swelled with desire and I began to squirm a bit. I pulled away to catch my breath and he stood up in front of me. I wiped the tears from my eyes, grabbed hold of his shaft, and placed it into my mouth. I wrapped my hands around his thighs, pulling him in deeper. He grabbed my braids once more and fucked my throat. So hard. My pussy was getting very wet and my clit was aching.

Jacob pulled away and said, "I think we're wearing too many clothes." We were both still fully clothed for some reason. He took off his shirt and threw it on the chair. So, I took my shirt off as well. I stood up and started to unbutton my jeans and he said, "Oh no, not yet." He grabbed me, turned me around, and bent me over the couch. He rubbed my ass, occasionally grabbing handfuls that he would squeeze hard. Jacob worships my ass and I love it. He started to grind his cock on my ass, which really turned me on. I wanted him inside me. When he stopped, I asked if I could remove my pants. He gave me permission and got naked himself. Then, he told me to follow him to the bedroom. I laid down on the bed and waited for him to join me. When he did, he wrapped his leg around my body and kissed me hard. We started making out again and he rubbed my crotch on top of my panties. I arched my back in response. He grabbed my breasts and sucked on my nipples. I reached down, slid my panties off, and tossed them onto the floor. Jacob caressed my clit with his fingers. Those amazing fingers. Mmmm. My eyes rolled back and I took a deep breath. It felt so good to be touched.

After a bit, Jacob got up on his knees and shoved his cock in my mouth once more. I sucked it as he rubbed my clit. Then, he grabbed my hair and started fucking my mouth again. I could feel his cock entering my throat, shoving its way in. It excited me so much. He grabbed my crotch in his hand. "Do you want me to fuck this pussy?" "Oh, yes!" I answered. "Mmmm, I think I need to lick it first," he said. He moved down to the end of the bed, parted my legs, and dived right in. His tongue was massaging my clit and it felt so fucking good. He has amazing pussy eating skills. Jacob moaned and I could tell he was really enjoying it. He slid a couple fingers inside me, massaging my g-spot. Fuck, I didn't want him to stop. I reached down and started to run my fingers through his hair as he continued to lick my clit. I felt like I was going to cum a few times but I was so nervous about it. I could tell I was going to squirt and I've never done that with him before. So, I was afraid of how he would react. So, unfortunately, I held back. It still felt amazing but I regret not letting go.

Jacob asked if I was ready for his cock. He had texted earlier that he really wanted to be on top, so after I said I was ready, he climbed on top of me. As he penetrated my sex, the look on his face was absolute ecstasy. I moaned as his cock filled me up. I wrapped my legs around his hips and squeezed his biceps as he plunged in and out of my hungry cunt. I could hear how wet I was and it turned me on even more. He sat up on his knees and continued fucking me. I reached down and rubbed my clit. He asked, "Are you going to cum for me?" Oh god, I almost came right then. He started fucking me harder. I could feel his cock hitting my G-spot. I was getting close to cumming when he went back down into the missionary position. I stopped rubbing my clit and focused on grabbing his cock with my pussy. I could tell he was really close to cumming but he was fighting it like a champ.

I really wanted to cum, so I pushed him back up into a kneeling position. I rubbed my clit and caressed his chest as he continued to fuck me. He lifted my legs up and placed my feet on his chest. His cock was hitting my G-spot and it felt amazing. It didn't take long before I was cumming around his cock. He continued to fuck my pussy for a bit longer but I knew he really wanted to cum. When I tightened my pussy around his cock, he asked for permission to cum, and I moaned, "Yes! Oh, yes!" He came so hard that it made my clit tingle again. He collapsed on the bed next to me and we just laid there for a while enjoying the afterglow.



Later that night, while we were lying in bed, Husband asked me for the details of what happened, so I shared with him. Of course, it turned both of us on. We began to run our hands all over each other's bodies. I could feel the heat coming off of his skin. He was so aroused. He reached down between my legs and felt how wet I was. I started to purr and he sat up on his knees beside me. He rubbed my clit, his fingers gliding smoothly over my wet vulva. I started to moan as he slipped a couple fingers inside my pussy. I reached over and grabbed his cock. I started to stroke it slowly with my hand, rubbing the pre-cum all over the head. As he continued to finger me, I could feel myself getting even wetter. I felt one of his fingers move from inside my pussy to my asshole. After massaging and warming it up a bit, he slipped his finger inside. I squeezed his cock in response and he moaned out. Husband continued to fuck my ass and pussy with his fingers while also rubbing my clit. It felt amazing. He was hitting my G-spot over and over again. I felt the pressure start to build up inside me and my thigh muscles tensed up. I reached between his legs and grabbed his ass. I squeezed it hard as I started to cum. It felt so warm and I realized that I was squirting all over the bed. A lot. My body finally let go of everything it was holding back earlier in the night. Fuck, it was so intense.

After I was done cumming, Husband took his cum soaked hand and rubbed it all over my tits. Then, he sucked it off of my nipples. Oh fuck! He grabbed my crotch and said, "I may share this with others but I want you to know that this is MINE." Then, he grabbed my tits and said, "ALL OF THIS belongs to me." Unf. That gave me butterflies in my tummy. He started to rub my clit again and I tried to pull away. It was too soon after my orgasm and it was super sensitive. He held me down and rubbed it more. I continued to pull away and cry out. He finally stopped and then climbed on top of me. He slid his cock into my very wet pussy and started to fuck me. So hard. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist as he pounded my slutty cunt. He fucked me harder and harder until finally, he emptied his hot load deep inside my pussy.

Sinful Sunday: Humour

"Would you please stop making me laugh? I'm trying to suck this cock."

Sinful Sunday: Bruised

I went out with G on Friday night. I decided to go to his house afterwards and we had a scene. He beat my ass and left some pretty marks.




Kiss the lips and see who else is sinning.

Incoherent Ramblings

It's been over six months since we completely opened our marriage. I really can't believe it's been that long. I was thinking about this last night. Six months and how many people have I had sex with other than my husband? Zero.

It's definitely not for lack of wanting to. Mostly, I'm sure that it's because I'm super fucking picky. I love sex, but I am not attracted to a lot of people. If I am attracted to someone physically, I also have to be attracted to their personality. That means that I prefer to get to know people before I fuck them. These two things combined don't offer a lot of opportunities for sex.

Another problem is that I always seem to be attracted to people who are unavailable or live too far away. There is a large handful of online friends that I would love to fuck if given the chance. Sure, there are people who are local and available that I'm attracted to as well. I seem to be too awkward to initiate anything with them though.

There's also the problem of timing. Having a kid who is too young to be left home alone and a husband who works crazy hours doesn't leave much room for opportunities either. It's definitely not impossible but it does make things more difficult.

I've also felt extremely self conscious lately, so even when an opportunity has been available, I have shot it down because I hate what I see in the mirror. I've been working on that really hard lately. That's the reason that I decided to do February Photofest. I thought it would help me accept my body and see that people think I'm sexy. I know it's silly to turn someone down because I don't think I'm hot enough. Obviously they think I am, otherwise they wouldn't be interested in the first place. I've been slowly accepting this.

There may also be a tiny bit of guilt still going on. I've felt guilty for wanting to have sex with other men for a long time. Husband no longer tries to make me feel guilty but it's hard to let that feeling go. I guess I'm just worried about hurting him. Now that he has been seeing a girl lately, I feel a lot less guilty. So, hopefully that won't be an issue for much longer.

I guess there really wasn't much point to this post. I just really wanted to write my thoughts down so I could sort them out in my head. Maybe my point is that I am ready to let all of this go and finally fuck someone. I'll be sure to write about it when it happens.

Changes In Our Poly Terms

I have been polyamorous since before I even knew what polyamory was. At the age of 18, I knew that I never wanted to love just one person. I didn't even like the idea of marriage. My husband changed my mind about marriage but not polyamory. It was hard for him to accept at first. He had this idea in his mind that he'd grow old with the love of his life...and that she would love only him. He had to learn to accept the fact that he would have to share me. At first, I was only interested in finding a girlfriend. Since we are both bisexual, our terms were that each of us could date other people of the same gender. So, Husband started to date other men and I dated other women. In addition to that, we would have occasional threesomes with guy friends. That seemed to work out pretty great for us and we were pretty happy.

A couple years ago, things changed. I sprung something on my husband that he wasn't expecting. I wanted to be free to have sex with other men. It caused a lot of friction between us. He struggled a lot with it and things were rocky for a little while. Of course I felt guilty and selfish. So, I decided to drop it. Little did I know that he had been thinking about it ever since. Recently, he came to me and said that he wants to open up our marriage. I was kind of shocked about it. I never thought we would get to that point. He said that he hated feeling like he was holding me back from being truly satisfied and he wanted me to be happy. We talked about it for hours, hashing out all the details, making sure that this was what he wanted, and figuring out the rules. So, now our terms have changed. I am able to have sex with other men but my ass is all his. In other words, I'm not allowed to have anal sex with anyone other than him but everything else is fair game.

My next thought was, now that I am able to see other men, would he want to see other women? At this point, he isn't interested in that and I'm not sure he ever will be. That actually makes me feel a bit guilty. Am I selfish? Did I make him feel obligated to open our marriage when he didn't want to? Shouldn't I be happy with what I have? My husband is an amazing lover and he pleases me like no other man ever has. Regardless of that, the truth is, I'm not satisfied with just him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him....but I want to have sex with other men as well. I'm in the process of accepting all of these changes. While part of me is so very excited, the other part of me still feels guilty. My husband keeps reassuring me that he never would have agreed to this if it wasn't what he wanted. I just need to listen to him and let go of the guilt.

The other day, Husband asked, "So, do you have anyone in mind?" I'll be honest, I have been thinking about it a lot. "Sure, I have someone in mind, but Jack lives on the other side of the country." He asked if there was anyone local that I wanted to fuck. The depressing truth is, not really. Everyone that I'm crushing on locally is either not interested or in a monogamous relationship. It's quite discouraging. I finally get permission to fuck whoever I want and I am just not feeling good about my choices. It's my own fault for being so damn picky. There is also the fact that I am not a fan of casual sex. I at least have to be friends with someone before we fuck. Otherwise, I'm just not into it. I'm sure I'll find someone soon who is interested. Until then, I'll just continue lusting after complete strangers who I feel too socially awkward to approach.


Also, Jacob bought me this really sexy lingerie off of my Amazon wish list. So, thanks to him, you can enjoy this picture of me wearing it. ;)