Tuesday, November 14, 2017

TMI Tuesday: November 14, 2017

Here is TMI Tuesday–all about Self-care.




Outside of regular hygiene activities–bathing, brushing teeth, hair care, let’s talk about what you do for self-care*.


Ash:
1. Have you ever had a professional massage? If yes, what type? If no, why not?
I have had a Swedish massage three times. The first time was wonderful. It was done at a really nice spa. It lasted for 90 minutes and it was amazing. It was so good that I signed Husband and myself up for a couples massage a few months later at the same place. That wasn't as great, but it was romantic. The last massage I received was at Massage Luxe and it was really shitty. I'm really sad that the other place closed so I can't go back there. I just get my massages at home now.

2. Do you engage in the following? Tell us all that apply and how often you do it
a. yoga
- I do yoga on Tuesday mornings.
b. tai chi - Never done this.
c. float therapy - I did this for the first time on my birthday this year. It was a gift from Husband. It was very nice. I'll probably do it again.
d. run/jog - Haha. No.
e. workout–any that isn’t actually training for something but is for physical fitness maintenance - I have been slacking off in this area, but I try to go to the gym to work out M-F and sometimes Saturday.
f. other – what? -

3. How many hours of sleep do you average on a weeknight? Weekend?
Do you think you need more or less sleep?

My sleep schedule is fucked right now. In a perfect world, I would get to bed by midnight and wake between 8-10am. Lately, I haven't been getting to sleep until sometime between 2-5am. Sometimes I end up sleeping really late in the day and sometimes I get up early and have a hard time functioning throughout the day. My body feels best when I sleep for 10 hours, but I can function alright on 8 hours. Anything less than that is just not good.

4. Which of the following are you most likely to add to your self-care routine and stick with it?
a. Schedule in a planner daily “me time”
b. Acupuncture
c. Take a moment at the end of each day and consciously list a few good things in your life.
d. Turn off phone and step away from computer/tablet for 4 hours a day

I should definitely start doing C. I do D a few times every week, but I could probably stand to do it more often. I doubt I'd stick with it though.

5. What do you do for self-care either physically, spiritually or emotionally?
Yoga is the biggest thing I do for self-care. I can definitely tell a difference in my mood when I get my yoga in every week. I don't really do anything else to take care of myself, unless you count masturbation. I'm not good at being nice to myself.

Bonus: Today, make sure you give yourself some love–self-care.
I'll try to do that.

*Self-care is activities and practices that you do on a regular basis to reduce stress and maintain and enhance our short- and longer-term health and well-being. Source: buffalo.edu




Husband:
1. Have you ever had a professional massage? If yes, what type? If no, why not?
Not counting the minute massages you receive while walking around conventions where chiropractors and other businesses are trying to get your patronage I have only had one professional massage. Wife set up a couples massage and it was wonderfully romantic.

2. Do you engage in the following? Tell us all that apply and how often you do it
a. yoga
b. tai chi
c. float therapy
d. run/jog
e. workout–any that isn’t actually training for something but is for physical fitness maintenance
f. other – what?


F. Other; for the most part sex is the only exercise I get. I do a lot of walking around and doing daily tasks at work that would also count as activity. I miss running and keep meaning to start a workout routine, but motivation seems to be lacking.

3. How many hours of sleep do you average on a weeknight? Weekend?
Do you think you need more or less sleep?

On an average weeknight I get 4-6 hours of sleep. On the weekend I average about 7-9 hours of sleep. I know more sleep during the week would benefit me, however, I tend to be a high functioning sleep deprived person.

4. Which of the following are you most likely to add to your self-care routine and stick with it?
a. Schedule in a planner daily “me time”
b. Acupuncture
c. Take a moment at the end of each day and consciously list a few good things in your life.
d. Turn off phone and step away from computer/tablet for 4 hours a day


I would say D simply because I know that towards the end of the day I most of the time feel like withdrawing anyway. I think I would like to start doing C also.

5. What do you do for self-care either physically, spiritually or emotionally?

Cuddling with my family is self care that spans all three of those areas. Reading works for emotional self care. I get out into nature for any spritual healing.

Bonus: Today, make sure you give yourself some love–self-care.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Monday, October 30, 2017

TMI Tuesday: October 31, 2017

Let’s do this thing–TMI Tuesday.




Ash:
1. What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?
If I'm in a good head space, I usually think about sex. Things I'd like to do. People I'd like to do.
If I'm in a bad head space, I usually think about dark things. Usually bad things about myself. Or things from my past that have happened to me.

2. What advice do you have for your previous lover?
I'm not so sure I'd like to create that drama. I have a feeling that her partners may still read my blog and I'd rather not go there. I hate drama.

3. What inspires you?
People who have had a hard life and struggle with depression. They doubt their strength, but they are the strongest people I know.

4. If you were to get rid of one person in your life, who would it be and why?
I get rid of toxic friends with no problem. The person who is most toxic in my life that I can't get rid of is my sister. She treats me like crap all the time. Every time I hang out with her, she makes me feel worse than I did before. She looks down on me for my poly lifestyle. She says mean things to me and kicks me when I'm down. She expects me to do things for her all the time but will never do anything for me. And I let her walk all over me because she's family. I do love her, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to deal with her. In the last year, I've drastically cut down the time that I spend with her.

5. How do you cope when your level of sexual desire doesn’t match your partners?
You masturbate a lot? I flirt with a lot of people to have an outlet for all of the extra sexual energy. I use Twitter to get it out as well. I don't have much of a filter and I tend to say inappropriate things all the time, but using Twitter to vent that stuff has helped cut that down a lot. My sex drive is crazy high. There aren't many people who can match my level of sexual desire.

Bonus: Are you single, why? Are you married, why?
I'm married. I used to be very against marriage. I thought, "Why would I need a piece of paper to prove my love to someone?" Honestly, I just didn't ever see myself wanting to be with someone forever. Then, I fell in love with my husband. He changed my mind about marriage. When he asked me to marry him, I felt lucky that he wanted to be with me forever. He truly is my soul mate and I love him so very much.




Husband:
1. What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?
I think about everything when I'm alone in the car. I think about 'what ifs', imaginary conversations. A lot of the time my subconscious runs wild and it will stir up things I have going on in my life.

2. What advice do you have for your previous lover?
My last lover was my first boyfriend, and to be honest I cannot think of any kind of advice to offer.

3. What inspires you?
Wife and my daughter are my two biggest sources of inspiration. They inspire me to be a better husband, father, and person constantly. There is always room for improvement.

Books and stories are another source of inspiration for me. To be able to experience other worlds and people in them is an incredibly humbling thing to me.

What can I do, who can I be, where can I go are all things that my family and books inspire me to question.

4. If you were to get rid of one person in your life, who would it be and why?
I would likely get rid of the wastewater operator I have had to deal with for the last five years at work. He has tried to get me fired more times than I can count and we just do not mesh well or get along in general.

5. How do you cope when your level of sexual desire doesn’t match your partners?
My level of sexual desire has never matched Wife's. It can be intimidating for me. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming in the sense of feeling like I fail to deliver what she needs. In the past, it was extremely difficult to not internalize this difference and take it personally, but over this year I have been communicating better about my desires instead of keeping it in my head. This has helped us grow closer together.

Bonus: Are you single, why? Are you married, why?
I am married because I have been so lucky as to have found my soul mate, not just once, but twice in the same person. I chose her and she chose me because we both love each other. We have built a life together and commit to working for our amazing future.

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Just What I Needed

I was sexting with Jack the other day. I got lost deep in a fantasy about him and was inspired to turn it into a short story.



She had been waiting for what seemed like hours. He was supposed to be home 15 minutes ago. He probably needed to make a stop on the way. Didn't he know she was impatient when she's horny? She had been fantasizing about him all day, craving his touch. It felt like torture, just watching the door for his arrival. She giggled to herself, thinking about the face he would make when he walked in and saw her there, lying naked on the couch.

A few more minutes pass and she hears his key in the door. Her breath catches in her throat as she anticipates his reaction. He walks in and stops dead in his tracks. At first, a look of surprise on his face, then it turns into a huge smile from ear to ear. He barely manages to say, "Oh my, you look delicious." She blushes, feeling exposed. For a moment, he forgets that he's holding the door wide open. He stumbles, trying to close it, and then starts to take off his shoes. She says, "I want to feel you against my body." He lets out a moan, throws his socks off, and looks at her again. She's biting her lip. Unf, he loves when she does that. She looks him in the eye and says, "I want to breathe in your scent." He says, "Oh god," and takes his shirt off as quickly as possible. She can tell there's a large bulge in his pants. She licks her lips and says, "I want to taste you." He moans again and takes his pants and boxers off faster than he's ever done before.

As he walks over to her, she spreads her legs, inviting him in. She says, "I want to hear you moan my name as you slide your big cock into my tight wet pussy." He mounts her and kisses her lips, hard. The taste of his lips is so sweet. She runs her fingers through his hair, pulling it a little. He moans out her name and slides his cock inside her swollen pussy. She digs her fingernails into his back and moans back, "Yes! Fill me up!" He bites her lip and she wraps her legs tightly around his waist, pulling him in closer.

Yes! This is what she had been needing all day. His cock filled her up so perfectly. She bit his shoulder as he thrusted into her over and over again. Her pussy was getting wetter, tighter, with every stroke. He moaned out, "Fuck, you feel amazing." Her hips move with his, meeting his thrusts. She needed him deep inside her. She whispers in his ear, "I need your cum inside my pussy." His thrusts get quicker and harder, forcing little moans from her mouth.

He's hitting her g-spot and she can feel it engorging. She can feel his hot breath on her skin. She moans out, "Oh, baby, you're going to make me cum!" He holds her tight against his body and whispers, "That's my good girl." She can't hold it in any longer. She scratches her nails down his back and moans out his name as she reaches orgasm. Her pussy convulses around his cock, squirting all over him. He looks into her eyes with such lust that it makes her blush. Then, he fills her pussy with his hot load.

He collapses on top of her, laying his head on her chest. She starts to run her fingers through his hair once again. They both let out a content sigh at the same time. They lie there together until they catch their breath and go again.

Monday, October 23, 2017

TMI Tuesday: October 24, 2017

This week, let’s have a look inside your relationship by playing TMI Tuesday.




Ash:
1. How much time do you spend taking care of your significant other:
a. More than taking care of myself, more than 60% of my time.
b. About 50% of my time.
c. 10% to 49% … I have kids!
d. Not really any time at all, definitely less than 10% of my time.

I would say C is the most accurate one there, but I think it's on the high end of C.

2. How do you sleep at night?
a. With the whole bed to my myself…yaay!
b. I stay on my own side, someone else on other side.
c. We snuggle–start that way or end up that way.
d. We do not sleep together.

We snuggle. Usually, I am the little spoon. If we stop snuggling, at least one part of our bodies is touching all night.

3. What happens when you or your significant other gets home from work?
a. Stop what you are doing to greet and hug each other
b. Engage in conversation about the day
c. No specific acknowledgement of each other, no specific welcoming gesture but go about a household routine
d. Ignore each other

I know that Husband would like for me to do A, but I don't do that as often as I should. Usually he comes to me and we hug/kiss.

4. How many things about yourself would you change? Share 3 things and tell us why.

I'm not very nice to myself, so I could probably come up with quite a few things I would change. Here are my top 3.
1) I would stop putting myself down all the time. I've stopped doing it so much out loud, but I'm always doing it in my head. I know I don't deserve that, but it's really hard to stop thinking that way.
2) I would get rid of my social anxiety. I am an extrovert that really wants to spend time with other people but I just don't know how to talk to people most of the time. I tend to just hide out in a corner and wish someone would talk to me.
3) I would get rid of my anorexia, stop starving myself, lose weight the healthy way, and actually keep it off. I've tried this so many times but always end up failing.

Bonus: How many things would you change about a current significant other.

Not very many. I would definitely make him think more highly of himself and have more self confidence. I also wish he was a little less introverted because I could really use a partner who wants to go out and be social with me.


Husband:
1. How much time do you spend taking care of your significant other:
a. More than taking care of myself, more than 60% of my time.
b. About 50% of my time.
c. 10% to 49% … I have kids!
d. Not really any time at all, definitely less than 10% of my time.

I would say B. She is incredibly self sufficient, I just have a tendency to help out and do things unasked. I enjoy doing things for her and taking care of her without strings attached.

2. How do you sleep at night?
a. With the whole bed to my myself…yaay!
b. I stay on my own side, someone else on other side.
c. We snuggle–start that way or end up that way.
d. We do not sleep together.

Definitely C. I am usually the first one asleep simply because touch with Wife calms my brain and body without much work on my part. She gives me a quiet mind. For some reason after falling asleep I drift away towards the edge of the bed, and I wish I knew why that was. If I wake up in the middle of the night and we are not touching I will roll over and cuddle until I fall back asleep.

3. What happens when you or your significant other gets home from work?
a. Stop what you are doing to greet and hug each other
b. Engage in conversation about the day
c. No specific acknowledgement of each other, no specific welcoming gesture but go about a household routine
d. Ignore each other

Typically A. I clear my pockets, take off my shoes, then go hug my loved ones, followed by B most of the time. I have been guilty of both C and D when I have been in bad head space.

4. How many things about yourself would you change? Share 3 things and tell us why.

a. The biggest thing I wish I could change would be my confidence level. Most of it is forced and I fake it. I am working on trying to internalize this and make it real though. Not being confident has kept me from living to the fullest.
b. I wish I could summon the motivation to improve my physical self. There are things I would very much like to accomplish, and when I think about them I am really worked up, but when it comes to making time it falls apart. I am not in bad shape, but I want to be in better shape, for my health mostly, for doing things the rest.
c. I wish I could attack confrontation better than ducking around the corner and making a hide in shadows skill check. I definitely do not enjoy taking things head on, but I know this has limited me in dealing with all kinds of issues.

Bonus: How many things would you change about a current significant other.

I wish she could see herself through my eyes. To hear the truth from my lips. She is incredible and amazing. This is the only thing I can think of changing.

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

TMI Tuesday: October 10, 2017

It’s fill-in-blanks time. Have fun with this TMI Tuesday.




Ash:
1. I am me because of all the shit I've gone through in life. Without it, I wouldn't be who I am today.

2. Ash will never, ever do scat play.

3. He was grabbing ice cubes and running them up and down my body, slowly. I could feel the ice melting on my hot skin, the water dripping and causing shivers through my body.

4. Ok, ok I’m really just a big slut, but I know you like me that way.

5. The charming lesbian got in my bed and we fucked for many hours.

Bonus: Tell us about places where you’ve been happiest.
My happy place is a beach on the west coast. I've been told that I glow when I'm there. Watching a sunset on the beach is just happiness in my mind. Especially if I'm doing it with someone special.



Husband:
1. I am me because of my ancestors, my choices, my failures, my successes, every moment up until right now.

2. I will never, ever do a Tahetian Face Mask.

3. He was grabbing ice cubes and running them slowly over her steaming body, trailing lines of wet cold mist and leaving goose bumps rising in the wake.

4. Ok, ok I’m really trying to be a better person, stronger for myself and for you.

5. The charming way she smiled at me with mischief in her eyes got in my head and made me stumble/stutter.

Bonus: Tell us about places where you’ve been happiest.
Canada wilderness, around a campfire, around a bonfire surrounded by friends and family, in the arms of my Bandia.

————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Friday, October 6, 2017

Fucking and 69ing on the Couch

Last night, Husband and I were watching porn on my phone while cuddling on the couch. He started to caress my breasts lightly and I took that as a sign that it was time to put the phone away. I tossed my phone on the table and Husband started kissing my chest while massaging my breasts. I closed my eyes and got lost in the feeling of his mouth on my skin. He slowly licked and sucked his way to my shoulder, then up to my neck. When he reached my neck, I moaned out in pleasure. Fuck, it definitely woke my clit up. I grabbed him, pulled him closer and started to suck and bite his neck as well. He squeezed my breasts harder and then started to make out with me.

After a while, he wanted to turn the light off, so he stood up and reached for the lamp. He was hovering over me, his cock right in my face. I licked my lips, thinking about tasting it. Suddenly, he grabbed my head and shoved it down onto his cock. I was surprised and delighted at the same time. After I lubed up his cock nicely with my mouth, he grabbed my head and started to fuck it. I couldn't breathe, but in that moment, I wanted his cock more than I wanted oxygen. He moaned loudly as I took him deep into my throat. He pulled out and put his hand on my throat. He kissed me as he was choking me and it was so fucking hot.

Husband sat beside me on the couch and we started making out. He grabbed my pussy and said, "I want this in my face." Then, he started to rub my clit. It momentarily took my breath away. He told me that he wanted to 69 on the couch, like in the picture he had texted to me earlier that night. I just couldn't say no to that. So, I got up and told him to lie down. Then, I sat on his face and started to lick his cock from the base to the head. I sucked on his balls a bit and then teased his head with my tongue. I took his cock into my mouth and started to suck it, slowly at first. Hearing him moan and feeling the vibration on my clit excited me, so I started to deep throat his cock. I bobbed up and down on it, repeatedly shoving his cock deep into the back of my throat. Tears were streaming down my face but I didn't care. I pushed through the gag reflex and kept going. He started to fuck me with his fingers while he continued to lick my clit. Mmmm. It felt so good and I knew I was getting close to cumming. A few times, I lost focus of what I was doing. It's so hard to enjoy pleasure while also focusing on giving pleasure. I shoved his cock deep into my throat one more time and came so hard. A very muffled moan escaped from my mouth. It's quite hard to moan with a cock in your throat. Husband said, "Fuck, I love when you moan around my cock."

I stumbled off of Husband and then sat down on the couch to catch my breath. He walked over, grabbed my legs, and placed them on his chest. Then, he slid his cock inside my very wet pussy. He started off slow, while moaning about how tight my pussy was. It felt so good to have his cock filling me up. He started to fuck me harder and faster. I moaned out, which I could tell excited him very much. He told me that he wanted me to rub my clit and cum while he fucked me. Of course, I did what I was told. I reached down and started to rub my clit. I needed more lube, so I put my fingers in my mouth. I could taste my pussy juices on my fingers. Mmmm. It was delicious. I continued to rub my clit and tightened my pussy around Husband's cock. He moaned, "I'm going to cum." That put me over the edge. He filled my pussy with his cum as I orgasmed around his cock. Fuck, it was so good. I slept very well after that.



Also, I got another gift in the mail. So, here is a picture of me in it.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

TMI Tuesday: October 3, 2017

This week on TMI Tuesday— navigating sex.




Ash:
1. How do you gauge the success of your romantic relationships?
Well, my love language is physical touch, followed very closely by quality time. If my lover touches me often and spends quality time with me, I feel like the relationship is pretty successful. My lover also must be honest and open with me. If not, the relationship will not last.

2. How often do you prefer to talk about sex with your lover?
I love to talk about sex with my lover. It's my favorite thing to talk about. It's a good way to get to know what your lover likes. The only time I don't really like to talk about sex much is during the actual sex itself. My brain gets foggy and I get really caught up in it. So, it's quite hard for me to talk. I do enjoy when my lover throws out some dirty talk though.

3. During sex, what is your top priority?
To please my lover. I want to be sure that they are enjoying it as much as I am.

4. What advice would you like to give your partner to be a better lover? Are you afraid to give that advice?
The only thing I would change about my partner is to have him be more confident in the things that he does, even if he has to fake that confidence until he actually feels confident. Confidence is incredibly sexy and I know he doubts himself a lot. He's amazing in bed and he honestly has no reason to doubt himself. Anxiety is a bitch though. I'm not afraid to give that advice. I've told him that many times over the years.

5. While in the moment of having sex, what is the best way you like to receive feedback from a lover that they are enjoying or are not enjoying sex
a. moans and groans
b. tell me in dirty talk
c. give me direction or be explicit
d. just fuck, tell me later if it was good for you
I will go with "A" because moans and groans definitely excite me. I love hearing my lover make noises because they are enjoying what I'm doing. "B" is a very close second though. Dirty talk is fucking hot. That being said, I would also welcome "C" because giving direction can really be helpful. Especially if I'm having sex with a woman. It can sometimes be hard to make a woman cum because every vagina likes different things done in a different way. So, the first few times I have sex with a woman, a little direction is very helpful.

Bonus: Are you an idiot? Why or why not?
I can't think of any reason why I would be considered an idiot.



Husband:
1. How do you gauge the success of your romantic relationships?
I am having a hard time digesting this question, so I am just going with what I guess this means to me.

I judge the success of my romantic relationship by the attention I get/give, the intimacy shared between us (both physical and emotional), the little things that are done for each other.

2. How often do you prefer to talk about sex with your lover?
I enjoy talking about sex with Wife all the time, it's fun and inspiring and hot.

3. During sex, what is your top priority?
Pleasing my partner. Making them feel wanted, desired, sexy.

4. What advice would you like to give your partner to be a better lover? Are you afraid to give that advice?
I think I miss out on foreplay, and when I say that I don't strictly mean blow jobs, because those have become more frequent. I may be a guy, but I like the touches that build up to actual sex. Making out, hickies, scratches, rubbing, touching. These are things we have talked about though and are working on, so no I am not afraid to tell Wife. I have been in the past though.

5. While in the moment of having sex, what is the best way you like to receive feedback from a lover that they are enjoying or are not enjoying sex
a. moans and groans
b. tell me in dirty talk
c. give me direction or be explicit
d. just fuck, tell me later if it was good for you
I love moans and groans. There have been times before that I have almost got off hearing the noises Wife makes. Audio stimulation of any kind though is incredible and definitely does it for me.

Bonus: Are you an idiot? Why or why not?
I feel like an idiot a lot. I make many mistakes over and over trying to steer myself to the person I would like to be. I know I let down the people I care about more often than I would like.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!