TMI Tuesday: May 24, 2022

 

Ash:

1. What made the best sex partner you’ve ever had so good?

They cared about giving me pleasure and not just about pleasing themselves. They paid attention to my body language, breathing, and moans in order to judge how much I was enjoying the things they did to my body.

2. What made the worst sex partner you’ve ever had so bad?

They didn't care if I enjoyed the sex and only cared about their pleasure. In fact, after they orgasmed, they said, "I have a vibrator in my drawer if you'd like to finish yourself off."

3. Who was the most physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

My ex-girlfriend Sasha. She is gorgeous and has an amazing body. Sucks that she turned out to be a horrible person. 

4. How was it?

Sex with Sasha? It was great. She is a squirter and I very much enjoyed eating her pussy until she came on my face. She was very good at pleasuring me as well.

5. Who was the least physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

My ex-boyfriend, Nolan. He's an abusive piece of shit, so I'm not even going to give him a pseudonym. That was a two-year relationship that never should have happened. Ugh.

6. Why did you do it?

He was older than me and took advantage of me. I trusted him as a close friend and he guilted me into having sex with him and then getting into a relationship with him. He was emotionally abusive and I didn't know how to get away. He made me feel like I owed it to him. After I finally broke up with him, he had his friends send me hundreds of messages telling me to kill myself. I told you, he's an abusive piece of shit.

7. How was it?

It was...okay. He was really good at oral sex. His penis was very small (no more than 3 inches fully erect) and he didn't really know how to use it. He was HORRIBLE at kissing. It always felt like he was trying to eat my face when we made out. Maybe that's also why he was good at eating my pussy.

Bonus: Describe a bad sexual experience you admit was your fault.

I talked a gay guy into having sex with me. He is very very gay. But I was very very turned on by him. He was game to try it but couldn't stay hard. Totally my fault. No regrets though.

Husband:

1. What made the best sex partner you’ve ever had so good?

The thing that makes the best sex partner I've ever had so good is their ability to make me feel like magic is happening between us. I know that there is so much more to build into that description, but from the very first time until now it is a primal, energetic, magical connection that I don't know how to properly describe.

2. What made the worst sex partner you’ve ever had so bad?

The thing that made the worst sex partner I've ever had was their ability to constantly shame me and my sexual interests. They made me feel dirty and that I had to hide pieces of myself, large chunks at a time. They made me feel small and it hurt my mental state so much that I didn't even want to have sex.

3. Who was the most physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

Wife is the most physically attractive person I've ever had sex with. I get that it may seem like a cheap shot answer, but it's the truth.

4. How was it?

You can refer back to question #1 in this set as it is that very same person. Mind-altering sex.

5. Who was the least physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

Sexual partner #4 for me; Jasmine.

6. Why did you do it?

I was in a very sad, depressed mental state and I wanted to be used and I didn't quite care who did it.

7. How was it?

I don't really remember how it was one way or another, so I would say it wasn't bad or good. It wasn't forgettable due to the quality, but because of my poor frame of mind.

Bonus: Describe a bad sexual experience you admit was your fault.

I could say that my entire sexual experience with my ex-wife was not only bad, but also my fault because I continued to pursue her and stay with her after things started to go really bad instead of breaking things off and being smart about the entire situation. I'll totally admit the fault for that.

Respectful Polyamorous Sex

I am polyamorous. I have a husband and a girlfriend as steady relationships right now. I also have a pretty regular FWB, I had a date with a man yesterday, and I am also talking to other people who I may start dating soon. This creates the potential for a lot of sex partners in my life.

As I think about adding more partners to my romantic life, I have also been thinking about how polyamory works. Not necessarily the relationship part of polyamory. I'm pretty sure I have that down. Respect and communication is the key there. What I've been focusing on is the sexual aspect of it all. Are there unspoken rules for sex in a polyamorous relationship? If not, should there be?

When I speak of rules for sex, I don't mean sexual acts that partners have set as off-limits or not allowed. What I'm thinking of are things that would be considered respectful or disrespectful to do or not do when you are having sex with multiple partners regularly. I think I need to tell a story to explain.

Three years ago, I ate pussy for the first time. It was something that I had been wanting to do for a very long time. I was so excited to do it that I was literally shaking inside. You can read about that experience right here. There is one part that I left out of that story though. 

After I went down on Sasha for the first time, we cuddled in my bed for a while. I started to think about how I felt about everything that had just happened. I was so happy that I finally did it and that I actually did a good job, however, I was also a little confused. I realized that her pussy tasted like a man's cum. Was that normal? Mine had never tasted like that when I tried it. I kept thinking about it, trying to figure out why it would have tasted like that but at the same time, trying to tell myself that it couldn't have been for obvious reasons.

As Sasha and I laid there in bed talking about stuff, she eventually started to talk about how her morning went. It turned out that she was late getting to my house that day because her boyfriend had stopped by before work for a quickie. She told me that they had sex right before she came over. I asked her if he had used a condom and she said that they didn't use protection and that he always cums inside her. There it was. It all made sense...and my stomach started to turn.

I had just eaten her boyfriend's cum out of her pussy. Now, I don't have a problem with cream pies. I could get into that in the right situation. What I don't appreciate, though, is not being told about it beforehand. I was not dating her boyfriend. I had never had sex with her boyfriend. In fact, I didn't even know her boyfriend well at that time. So, thinking about fluid bonding with a man that I had never had sex with without my consent was really upsetting to me.

It took me a little while to get over that. I felt betrayed and I was afraid it would happen again without her warning me. I felt like if she would have been honest and told me what had happened that morning, I would have still had sex with her but I definitely wouldn't have gone down on her. She didn't really understand why I was upset about it. 

So, my question is, are there rules about this thing in polyamory? This subject has never come up before in any polyamory groups that I am a part of. I think it should definitely be something that's talked about. The way I see it, if there is a chance that you will have sex with multiple partners in the same day, the respectful thing to do is to make sure that the partner you have sex with first uses protection. I would never want to put my girlfriend in that position unless she was into it. I most definitely would never put her in that position without her consent. 

To be honest, I have some trust issues now with oral sex on a woman. I'm kind of scared that it will happen again. It's definitely not going to stop me from having sex with anyone but it is something that is often on my mind. I didn't think this was a conversation that I needed to have with my partners because I just thought it was common courtesy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is something that polyamorous people should discuss before having sex. Is it something that would bother you or your partner? Then, you should discuss possible rules and expectations about it. I know that from now on, I will make sure it's something I discuss with my partners at the same time as the protection/STI talk.

TMI Tuesday: September 22, 2020

 Hello! Time for another edition of TMI Tuesday

Dates, Mates & Relationships

Ash:

1. Which of these are you most guilty of in a relationship?

a. Jealousy

b. Not apologizing

c. Not keeping your word

d. Guilt trips

I guess the thing I'm most likely to do is a guilt trip. I'm not really a jealous person, I apologize too much, and I always keep my word.

2. Which of the following behaviors would annoy you most in a partner?

a. Fishing for compliments by verbalizing self-doubt

b. Passive-aggressive behavior

c. Usually forgets important dates (birthday, anniversary, etc.)

d. Making you feel guilty when spending time with friends

I can't deal with passive-aggressiveness. I need clear communication in a relationship. If you can't do that, I can't have a relationship with you.

3. Consider you are looking for a mate. Rank these traits in order of imporance, with 1 being most important and 7 being least important.

_2_ Kindness

_1_ Honesty

_6_ Ambitious

_4_ Confidence

_3_ Reliable

_7_ Assertive

_5_ Sense of Humor

4. Score! You exchanged numbers with a hottie. Now, you: (pick one)

a. Wait for a week, see if that person calls you first.

b. Call the next day, if not sooner.

c. Call and text incessantly. Let them know they've made an impression.

d. You'd never call. What if you get rejected?

b. I wouldn't call, but I'd definitely text the next day. I wouldn't text incessantly though. 

5. How did you handle your last relationship break up?

a. You've never been in a relationship before. The timing has never been right.

b. You went out and got drunk every night, until you forgot everything.

c. You went out on a massive amount of dates, even with people you knew you had no interest.

d. You felt bad and cried, but bounced back in a couple of days.

Well, D is the closest thing to what I did. When Sasha broke up with me, I felt bad and cried for a few weeks, not days.

Bonus: Would you take a holiday all by yourself, at the "spur of the moment?" Why or why not? Where would you go?

Definitely. If I could do it, I would. I love traveling and I'd jump at the chance to do it no matter how spur of the moment it was. I would go anywhere with an ocean nearby. 

Husband:

1. Which of these are you most guilty of in a relationship?

a. Jealousy

b. Not apologizing

c. Not keeping your word

d. Guilt trips

a. Jealousy for me has been one of the hardest things for me to get a grip on. I feel like, after many years of struggle, I finally have a decent understanding of myself enough to work through my jealousy properly.

2. Which of the following behaviors would annoy you most in a partner?

a. Fishing for compliments by verbalizing self-doubt

b. Passive-aggressive behavior

c. Usually forgets important dates (birthday, anniversary, etc.)

d. Making you feel guilty when spending time with friends

b. Passive-aggressive behavior. Aggressive-aggressive behavior. I don't deal well with conflict, and this pretty much sets my brain up for a massive failure.

3. Consider you are looking for a mate. Rank these traits in order of imporance, with 1 being most important and 7 being least important.

_2_ Kindness

_1_ Honesty

_7_ Ambitious

_5_ Confidence

_4_ Reliable

_6_ Assertive

_3_ Sense of Humor

4. Score! You exchanged numbers with a hottie. Now, you: (pick one)

a. Wait for a week, see if that person calls you first.

b. Call the next day, if not sooner.

c. Call and text incessantly. Let them know they've made an impression.

d. You'd never call. What if you get rejected?

a. Wait. I am so not an initiator for conversations. It is such a difficult thing for me to overcome.

5. How did you handle your last relationship break up?

a. You've never been in a relationship before. The timing has never been right.

b. You went out and got drunk every night, until you forgot everything.

c. You went out on a massive amount of dates, even with people you knew you had no interest.

d. You felt bad and cried, but bounced back in a couple of days.

I think D, but I definitely did not bounce back in a few days. It took longer than that.

Bonus: Would you take a holiday all by yourself, at the "spur of the moment?" Why or why not? Where would you go?

At this point in my life, I would most likely not holiday by myself at a spur of the moment. I feel like any holiday I am going on I would very much rather enjoy it with Wife and my daughter.

Sensual Touch

Once upon a time, my ex and I did a photoshoot together. This was one of my favorite pictures from that set.

My First Experience with Eating Pussy

The first girl I had sex with was my ex-best-friend, Olivia. I enjoyed sex with her but it always felt like it was lacking something. I loved her very much as a friend and it was fun to mess around. I just didn't have strong feelings for her otherwise. So, I never felt comfortable enough to go down on her. I got so caught up in the idea that my first time should be with someone special, that I didn't allow myself to go there with her.

The second girl I had sex with was Kirsten. She was beautiful and I wanted her so badly right from the beginning. I couldn't wait to have sex with her but she wanted to take things very slowly because she had a lot of anxiety (I found out later that she's actually asexual so that explained a lot). The first couple times we had sex, she didn't want me to go down on her. So, even though I wanted to, I respected her wishes. When she was finally feeling more comfortable with everything, I started feeling too nervous about doing it. Would I even know what I was doing? I talked to Husband about the anxiety I was feeling and he made me feel better. I finally felt ready to do it. That was when we ended up breaking up. Fuck.

I dated another girl, Erica, for a short time. She talked a lot about wanting to have sex with me but every time I tried, there was some excuse to prevent it from actually happening. After months of trying to no avail, I gave up. I definitely would have gone down on her if I were given the chance though.

The third girl I had sex with was Sasha. I fell VERY hard for her. It actually took a while for me to act on it because I was so terrified of getting hurt. I knew my feelings for her were very strong and I didn't want to put myself out there to get hurt. Her wife kept pushing us together and I finally let my guard down. We started dating but we didn't rush the sex part. There was lots of making out and heavy petting but it took a couple months to finally get to the sex. The first time we had sex was at a kink play party in front of four other people. We were lying on a bed, half naked, and making out. Things were getting really hot and she whispered, "Can I taste you?" I said yes, so she did. I wanted to do the same for her but there was no way I was going to be able to convince myself to eat pussy for the first time in front of four other people who were watching us.

A couple weeks later, Sasha came over to my place. We were sitting on the couch talking and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her body. I wanted her so badly. We started making out and playing with each other's boobs. We were both very turned on. Hands were wandering and kisses were turning into neck nibbles. She asked if I'd like to go to the bedroom. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. I knew I was ready to finally do it but I was still afraid that I wouldn't know what I was doing. I silently promised myself that I would not back out this time.

We laid down on the bed together and started making out again. My hands kept making their way up her shirt. She had the most amazing tits and I wanted my hands all over them. As our hands continued to wander, our clothes started to come off. Once our bras were removed, I rubbed my breasts against hers. Our nipples touched and I moaned out in pleasure. That has to be one of my favorite things to do with a woman. Mashing our tits together. Mmmm. I can't get enough of that. Sasha started to suck on my nipples while rubbing my clit gently. I was so turned on that it felt like I could cum any second. She stopped and kissed me one more time before moving her mouth down to my thighs. She kissed, licked, and nibbled her way down the inside of my thigh until she reached my pussy. She licked the outside, teasing me. I arched my back, aching for more. She opened my pussy lips and started to lick my clit. I felt her fingers slide into my very wet cunt. As she finger fucked me and licked my clit, I ran my fingers through her hair. It wasn't long before I was cumming hard, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling on it as I did.

Sasha laid down next to me again and I kissed her hard. I could taste my pussy on her lips and it excited me. I nibbled her neck, down to her collar bone, then licked and kissed my way to her nipples. While massaging her breast, I sucked on her nipple until she moaned. I continued down to her belly. I caressed her hips while I kissed around her belly button. I moved down to her thighs, licking, kissing, nibbling. I caressed her lower legs, down to her feet. As she moaned louder, I got even more turned on. I caressed her vulva gently with my fingers, softly tracing the line where her legs meet her crotch. I put my face so close that she could feel my hot breath, teasing her. I was very excited to taste her. So, I swallowed my nervousness, took a deep breath, and went for it. I parted her lips and gave a long, slow, gentle lick from the opening of her pussy to the top of her clit. I buried my face in her cunt, inhaling her sweet smell. I licked her clit slowly, occasionally stopping to stick my tongue inside her. She started to arch her back, so I licked faster and slid my fingers inside her. I massaged her g-spot as I ate her pussy. She started to cum all over my face, squirting her juices into my mouth, and I moaned as I drank them. She didn't seem to want me to stop, so I continued to lick her clit. I made her cum once more, then I collapsed next to her.

As we were cuddling, I told her that was my first time and she said I did an amazing job. I felt such pride in that moment. I couldn't wait to do it again. I ate her pussy every time I had the chance after that. She ended up breaking my heart but I'm glad I finally got my first pussy eating experience out of the way. Now, hopefully I won't get so caught up when doing it with other women. If I ever get the chance to be with other women, that is. I really miss eating pussy. So very much. There has to be someone out there that needs a tongue on their clit...

Threesomes and pegging

I've been absent for quite some time here. I kept meaning to come back, but I wasn't inspired to really put my mind to it until recently. A lot has happened in the last two years.

I had a girlfriend for a while. Let's call her Sasha. Before Sasha, I had been with other women but I had never eaten a pussy. I was very enthusiastic about trying it on her though. It was just about as amazing as I thought it would be. I also got a bonus because she is a squirter. So, every time I ate her pussy, she also squirted in my mouth. I've always been on the other side of that equation, so it was nice switching places. Unfortunately, Sasha is no longer my girlfriend. Hopefully I'll find another pussy to eat soon because I'm missing it so much.

Husband and I had a threesome with Sasha last month. It was fucking hot. It was the first time I got to watch Husband fuck another woman. We sucked his cock together, which is a pretty big fantasy of mine. I also ate her pussy while he watched, which he loved. I played with her tits, sucking and pinching her nipples, as he fucked her and watched her cum again and again. She squirted all over his cock and I loved every minute of it. I wish I had written about it when it happened so I could remember more of the details. We've also been having a lot of threesomes with Jacob but I haven't been writing about that either. Ugh. Remind me to not get distracted again.


Something I do remember the details of is the sex we had on Sunday night. Husband and I had been sexting each other all day, so by the time the night arrived, we were quite excited. I had decided that I wanted to fuck him in the ass, so I grabbed my strap-on. I put it on, got on the bed, and waited for him to join me. After he climbed on the bed, he started to suck on my nipples. He was rubbing them on the roof of his mouth with his tongue and it was driving me wild! He slipped his hand in between my legs and started to rub my clit. I was so wet that his fingers were gliding over my clit so smoothly. It felt amazing. He then started to suck the cock that I had strapped on. Oh god! I almost lost it! That is a huge fantasy of mine. I often imagine that I have a cock when I masturbate and it turns me on a lot. Watching him suck my cock while rubbing my clit was so hot. He inserted a couple fingers into my pussy and I moaned out. He continued to finger me for a while and then he started to put more fingers inside me. Next thing I knew, he was fisting me and I was gushing all over. Fuck, I squirted so much that the mattress pad was SOAKED.

After I was done cumming, I told Husband to kneel next to me. I licked the shaft of his cock all the way up to the head. I took his cock in my mouth and started to suck on it. As I made it wetter, I took it deeper into my mouth. When it was deep in my throat, I bobbed up and down, fucking my throat. He moaned out in pleasure as my eyes started to water. I reached around and started to finger his ass and continued to suck his cock while massaging his penis with my tongue. I could taste his precum and it excited me.

I asked Husband to lie down and spread his legs. I grabbed an anal toy, lubed it up, and stuck it inside his ass. I fucked him with it slowly as he moaned out in pleasure. After a while, I asked if he was ready for my cock. He smiled and enthusiastically said, "Yes!" So, I flipped him over, lubed up my cock, and inserted it slowly. It had been a while since the last time I pegged him, so he needed some time to adjust. After a while, I started to fuck him. All of his moaning was making my pussy so wet that it was dripping.

After I finished fucking him, Husband went down on me. As he licked my clit, he fucked my pussy with a glass dildo. Fuck, it felt good. I love glass toys. They slide in and out so smoothly when I'm very wet. Mmmm. He made me cum so hard. I grabbed at the sheet as I moaned out. Then, he climbed on top of me, pushed my legs over my head, and started to fuck me. He tried to convince me to let him stick a toy in my ass for some dp action. I compromised by telling him he could stick another cock in my pussy. So, he got up and grabbed another dildo. He put the dildo inside me and then slid his cock in next to it. I felt so full and I could feel so much pressure on my g-spot. I thought of a new friend that I've been talking to, Jack. Imagining that his was the other cock inside my pussy. It turned me on so much. Husband started to fuck me slowly at first. Then, I started to thrust my hips, letting him know that I wanted more. He began to fuck me hard. So hard. I couldn't stop myself from gushing everywhere. I was having so many g-spot orgasms...one right after the other. Oh god, it was so good. I reached down and started to rub my clit. When he saw I was getting close, Husband said, "Yes! Cum for me!" That sent me over the edge and we both came so hard. Best orgasm I've had in a long time. I seriously need to repeat that one with two real cocks.