I Am Because We Are

I met Husband in an AOL chatroom back in the year 2000. I was 16 and living with an abusive boyfriend. He was 17 and getting ready to go off to boot camp. We developed a close friendship online over the next year. After I had split with my abusive ex, I moved back home and Husband asked if he could come to visit me for the weekend. At this point, I didn't think of him as anything more than a friend and I thought it would be fun to hang out. So, I said yes. Everything changed when I saw him get off that plane and walk towards me. I was smitten.

A few months later, we were living together. We dated for a year and then broke up. We both had a lot of growing up to do. Three years later, we ran into each other again and things started back up like we had never been apart. We were married three years after that and our love grows more every day.

I would be lost without my husband. He truly is my soul mate. He acts as a mirror and helps me to become a better version of myself. He knows me better than anyone else does. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself.

I had a horrible childhood full of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. I suffer from C-PTSD, severe anxiety, and depression because of it. This can make me very hard to deal with at times. Husband has been the only person in my life who hasn't made me feel like I am a burden. No matter what I am going through at the time, he is nothing but supportive, especially with my mental health issues.

When I am having an awful panic attack, he is there to talk me down from it and reassure me that I will be okay. When I am having suicidal thoughts, he reminds me that life would not be better without me in it. He grounds me and keeps me sane through all of the craziness in life. If I'm spiraling, all it takes is his touch to calm me.

I'll be honest. I am a very nice person but I am not very nice to myself. In fact, sometimes I'm downright mean. Some days, the voices in my head can be so loud that I can't possibly drown them out by myself. Husband is always there to remind me that those voices are lying to me. When I am mean to myself, he is there to defend me. He reminds me to love myself when I forget that I am deserving of love. He reminds me that I am beautiful when I put myself down. He makes sure that I know how much I mean to the people around me when the voices tell me that no one cares. He is my rock.

No matter what we go through, we always seem to come out better and stronger on the other side. We talk things out and overcome. We were simply meant to be and I love him more than I could ever express with words.