Not Feeling Valentine's Day

Husband and I have been married for 11 years now. I love him more today than I did on the day that I married him. He is my soul mate and I hope that I never have to live without him.

I think our relationship is pretty healthy. We don't fight often and we always try to take care of each other. We cheer each other on and do whatever we can to make each other happy. We pick each other up when we are struggling with mental health issues. Our sex life hasn't been great but mostly, that's because Husband's work schedule has been shit. We are happy and in love.

I am happy. I just miss the romance. For the past couple of years, I've noticed the romance waning. I've never been great at romantic gestures but Husband used to be amazing at it. He used to brush my hair while we watched TV. He would rub lotion on my feet every night before bed. He would leave little love notes around the house. Just small things to make me smile.

Lately, I've been watching my sister with her new boyfriend. The NRE is SUPER strong with them. They are both so lovey-dovey and romantic. It reminds me of how we used to be. I miss that.

Occasionally, I'll see a spark of the romantic person Husband used to be. He will do something super sweet and romantic that I wasn't expecting and it really makes my day. That just doesn't happen very often anymore.

I'm sure it's not a reflection of how we feel about each other. I know he loves me. It's probably just because he is stressed from work. His work schedule has been hectic and overwhelming. It still makes me sad sometimes though.

Anyway, I'm not feeling Valentine's Day this year. I want to be into it but I'm just not. Last night, I asked him if he had gotten me anything. His answer was "kind of"...whatever that means. I asked because I haven't gotten him anything and I feel awful about it. I usually alternate years where I will make a homemade romantic gift one year and the next year I buy him a gift. I was going to make something this year but I've just been too busy.

Life gets crazy and our relationships suffer because of it. I don't want to let that happen to ours. I just have to figure out how to fix things. I want to be lovey-dovey again.