A New Metamour

Lots of things on my mind

I usually write about the sexy part of my life but today, I'm going to talk about some hard shit. Polyamory is amazing but it's also very hard sometimes. It takes a lot of work and a lot of that is internal work on yourself.

For the past 10 years, Husband has been mostly monogamous. He's had threesomes and such with me but he wasn't interested in dating other people. I struggled with that a bit. I felt guilty for being polyamorous and needing to have relationships and sex with other people. But he was always very supportive of my needs, even when they made him feel jealous and insecure.

A few months ago, Husband told me that he was having thoughts about wanting a relationship with another woman. At first, I was a bit shocked because he was always so sure that he didn't want that. My second reaction was nervousness because I wasn't sure how that would make me feel. It had been a long time since I had seen him with someone else and he had never dated another woman before. But then my brain finally settled on feeling excitement for him. I have always wanted him to be fulfilled and happy. So, I encouraged him to explore that. It took a few months, but he finally found someone that he was interested in.

Husband has been talking to a woman for a couple months. Initially, I very much encouraged him to go out with her. I gave him dating advice and helped calm his nerves before going out with her. I looked forward to hearing all about his dates when he came home and I was so happy for him. Then, something suddenly changed for me.

For the past few years, our relationship has been struggling. Husband pulled away from me and stopped communicating. Our sex life became almost non-existent. There were things that I needed from him that I wasn't getting. Things got really bad for a while but we've been working on our relationship throughout the last year and it's improved a lot. There is still much work to do though.

When I saw him giving those things that I needed to this woman he was talking to, I started feeling jealous. Then, I started comparing myself to this girl as well because I was already in a dark place. Why didn't I deserve those things? Why hasn't he been giving them to me? Does he like her better than me? So many negative thoughts that I wasn't used to. 

Jealousy is a rare emotion for me. I'm not a jealous person. In fact, I only feel jealous if I'm being treated unfairly or not getting something that I need. This was really hard for me to deal with because I have very little experience with feeling jealousy. I have been dealing with it as best as I can but some days are really hard.

On Wednesday, Husband told me that things became official between them. She is now his girlfriend. On one hand, I am so happy for him. But on the other hand, I still have some emotions to work through. The thing about jealousy is that it's completely normal but it's up to you to work it out for yourself. So, that is what I'm trying to do.

Anyway, to sum all of this up, I now have a new metamour and I have complicated and conflicting emotions about it. I think things will eventually work out and I'll feel better about everything but the anxiety I'm feeling right now is very overwhelming some days. 

I still think polyamory is absolutely worth it. I could never be in a monogamous relationship again for the rest of my life. I tried that already and it just didn't work out. It's not for me. Polyamory sure does take a lot more work than monogamy though. I'm going to continue working on myself and I'm excited for what the future has in store for Husband. I hope this new relationship brings him a lot of happiness.

Want to see more boobs? Click the flower below.

TMI Tuesday: May 7, 2024

Happy Titty Tuesday

It’s time for TMI Tuesday! Sex, sex, and more sex. 

Ash:

1. Have you ever considered yourself completely sexually satisfied?

I don't think I've ever been completely sexually satisfied. That's not due to my partners' lack of pleasing me. I just always want more. I think it's all part of being a nympho. It's never enough.

2. What was the last sexy photo you took?

The Sinful Sunday photo from a couple days ago.

3. When was the last sexy photo you took AND sexted? What was it of and to whom was it sent?

Umm. Honestly, I don't think I have taken any sexy photos since last Tuesday. I posted my titties on my Private Snapchat story and also sent it to my partners. It's been a rough week and I haven't felt sexy at all.

4. How is your sex-life?

a. Like a wet blanket

b. Like a warm cozy comforter

c. Like an electric blanket getting you all heated up

d. None of the above, I sleep without covers

A little bit A, because I'm always leaving a wet puddle but not in the sense of not being pleasurable. My actual answer is C. My partners are really great at pleasing me. They get me all heated up for sure.

5. What’s your idea of good foreplay?

I have a complicated relationship with foreplay. Sometimes I love the idea of taking your time to explore your lover's body. Making them yearn for more before you please them. And other times, I just want to hurry up and get to the fucking and orgasms. I might not be the best person to ask about foreplay. But generally, I think good foreplay is doing anything that gets your partner warmed up and turned on. That will be different for every person, I think.

Bonus: Can you have a great, long-lasting sex life with the same partner? How?

I've been having sex with Husband for 22 years and I still enjoy it very much. I think the key is to listen to what your partner wants, always keep an open mind, and try to keep things fresh. Don't keep doing the same shit and make things go stale. It's also very important to be enthusiastic. Don't treat sex like a chore. Make sure your partner's pleasure is important to you and they should do the same thing for you.

Husband:

1. Have you ever considered yourself completely sexually satisfied?

I do usually consider myself sexually satisfied. It's never a permanent satisfaction because I feel like it resets daily. When I don't have sex for a while it passes on and builds until the next time I end up having sex. It may not make a whole lot of sense to anyone else, but that's how it feels to me.

2. What was the last sexy photo you took?

I took shower pictures of my back and backside about a month ago.

3. When was the last sexy photo you took AND sexted? What was it of and to whom was it sent?

The pictures from the last question. I took them while showering after a weekend of camping and sent them to Wife because it had been a few days since I had seen her and I wanted to send her something nice.

4. How is your sex-life?

a. Like a wet blanket

b. Like a warm cozy comforter

c. Like an electric blanket getting you all heated up

d. None of the above, I sleep without covers

Back and forth between b. and c. but mostly c. lately. There has been an intensity and fire the last few months that I feel is due to reconnecting with Wife on many different levels.

5. What’s your idea of good foreplay?

Lots of touch and caressing with hands and fingers and lips. There are so many amazing sensations that I love to feel from different touches. Giving and receiving oral, I really enjoy giving oral and the act in itself gives me a lot of pleasure. 

Bonus: Can you have a great, long-lasting sex life with the same partner? How?

I think it all comes down to working at it like any relationship. I can't keep doing the same thing all the time, otherwise everything would become a routine. I also try to make sure I show just how much sex with Wife means to me, and while I haven't always been the best at this I am being a lot more vocal about it now. I do truly enjoy the hell out of sex with Wife. It can be completely sensual, completely physical, sometimes even just goofy and comical, or a combination of all of them and it makes me feel so good to still have this connection with Wife after years of being together.

Sinful Sunday: Yellow

The Sinful Sunday prompt for May is Yellow. This idea was a collaboration between Husband, Mia, and myself. I think it came out perfectly. Who else wants a taste of this delicious banana?

Kiss the lips below to see who else is sinning.

TMI Tuesday: April 30, 2024

Happy Titty Tuesday

It's time for TMI Tuesday, "Fashion Police" Edition. 

Today, my girlfriend Mia will be joining me in answering the questions.

Ash:

1. What is the most revealing thing you have ever worn in public?

I think that would be lingerie that you can see through. I've been nude at parties in front of everyone but I don't know if that counts as "public."

2. Have you ever unwittingly shown more than you intended in public due to a wardrobe malfunction?

My breasts have fallen out of my swimsuit while swimming. This especially happens in the ocean. My dress often blows up in the breeze. I have also ripped my pants open in the booty area. 

3. Are you more likely to arrive at an event over or under dressed?

I feel like I'm always overdressed because I love wearing dresses. 

4. Tell us about a time when you have arrived at a venue and immediately wished you could leave because you were dressed completely inappropriately?

The only time I can think of is when I arrive somewhere that is really cold and I wasn't prepared for that. Especially when an event ends up being outdoors in colder weather when I thought it would be indoors. I hate coats, so I don't always have one with me. That drives Husband crazy.

5. What is the one thing that a lover/man/woman wears that you love with a passion?

Dresses and kilts are my favorite. I love seeing my partners in these two things. I am also a big fan of a pair of kick ass boots.

6. What is the one thing that a lover/man/woman wears that you hate with a passion?

Crocs. Camouflage print.

Bonus: You and your friend are going to a special event and you know that he/she has spent a lot of time and possibly money on their outfit and are very excited about what they have created. They refuse to show you their outfit until you are both ready to leave for the event and you find that they look awful. What do you do?

I mind my business and let them be happy. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean that they can't.

Mia:

1. What is the most revealing thing you have ever worn in public?

A fishnet top without a bra to a clothing optional skate party. 

(you can read more about that night right here)

2. Have you ever unwittingly shown more than you intended in public due to a wardrobe malfunction?

Yes, my pants have ripped before but luckily at the time I was wearing a hoodie so I took it off and tied it around my waist and covered myself.

3. Are you more likely to arrive at an event over or under dressed?

I think I would likely be over dressed. I always have a lot of anxiety on what to wear to events but I rather be overdressed than underdressed.

4. Tell us about a time when you have arrived at a venue and immediately wished you could leave because you were dressed completely inappropriately?

I don’t think I’ve ever had this problem before.

5. What is the one thing that a lover/man/woman wears that you love with a passion?

I LOVE love when Ash wears peekaboo cleavage dresses with fishnets. She looks so fucking hot! I love how fishnets feel when I run my hands on her thighs. 🥵

6. What is the one thing that a lover/man/woman wears that you hate with a passion?

I hate when pants don’t fit right on a man and show a plumber’s crack. I can’t stand it and it’s embarrassing.

Bonus: You and your friend are going to a special event and you know that he/she has spent a lot of time and possibly money on their outfit and are very excited about what they have created. They refuse to show you their outfit until you are both ready to leave for the event and you find that they look awful. What do you do?

I’m never going to put down something a friend has worked so hard on. The most important thing is that it makes him/her happy but if he/she asks me if I like the outfit I’ll always be honest and find a gentle way to put it.

TMI Tuesday: April 23, 2024

Happy Titty Tuesday

It's time for another round of TMI Tuesday!

Making Sacrifices and Resisting Temptation

Ash:

1. What sexually could you never give up?

Cocks fucking my pussy. I always joke that I’d be a lesbian if it weren’t for those damn cocks. But honestly, it’s true. Men are often difficult and frustrating to deal with but those cocks though.  Mmmm. Dildos are just not the same.

2. What act would you like to do for 40 days and 40 nights?

Sensation play. I can’t get enough and I’m a big sensation slut.

3. What sexual sacrifice have you made? Why?

I have sacrificed receiving oral sex from Aidan. He doesn’t do that to his partners and even though I’d love for him to do it sometime, I’ve accepted that it’s not going to happen. I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me sad sometimes when I think about how much I choke on his cock every time we have sex and he’s never reciprocated. 

4. Have you ever been tied to a cross or anything else?

To a St. Andrew’s cross during a kink scene, yes. I’ve also been tied to beds. I prefer handcuffs when being restrained in those ways. They really dig into my wrists. Mmm.

5. What part of your body do you like worshiped?

My pussy. I love being told how much someone loves my pussy. It turns me on so much. My partners tell me how much they love the taste of it, how much they love how tight it is, how much they love it when I squirt on them. I will take all the praise and worship of this wet cunt between my legs. Give it all to me.

6. What can your partner do to you that makes you feel true bliss?

Play with my hair and give me scritches on the head. It makes me completely melt. And while it does turn me on, after long enough of that, I may fall asleep too. Fastest way to get me to relax and pass out.

Bonus: Tell us about a time you were tempted. Did you give in or resist?

I’ve been tempted so many times in my life and I’ve often deprived myself because I judge myself harshly. I’m a slut who cock blocks herself all the time. I need to stop doing that.

Husband:

1. What sexually could you never give up?

I could never give up penetrative sex, or vaginal or anal sex. I have an extremely difficult time getting off from masturbation and an even harder time getting off from getting head (still hopeful). I think without some kind of penetrative sex I may hardly ever orgasm.

2. What act would you like to do for 40 days and 40 nights?

Having recently been to an all expenses paid resort, I could definitely do that for 40 days and 40 nights. I would love to be able to have that immense level of freedom to be with Wife and to enjoy all the things we could possibly choose to do. I may or may not enjoy the ocean/water as much as her, but I would enjoy that time spent there with her as well.

3. What sexual sacrifice have you made? Why?

I'm not certain that I will be answering this properly, or interpreting it properly, but this is my answer anyhow. I think I've sacrificed sex in general many many times over the years, in particular years with Wife. Let me explain why I am saying this. Over the years of being sexually active I have mostly been very timid and wait for someone else to make any sort of move; I have a very difficult time pushing through this regardless of how I know things to be. This has led to countless opportunities to enjoy sex with Wife in particular that I've sacrificed away due to being caught in my head and not expressing how I feel about Her and how much I want and need Her. She is amazing and sex with Her is mind blowingly awesome, yet somehow I've let many opportunities wasted and sacrificed on the way.

4. Have you ever been tied to a cross or anything else?

I have been tied to a bed mostly; I can't remember being tied to anything else. The first time was a very traumatic experience, and it really has never allowed me to enjoy the potential fun of doing it despite having very enjoyable partners being part of that experience.

5. What part of your body do you like worshiped?

I'll just come out and say it, my cock. I am very much a modest human being, to the point of annoyance sometimes. I have never measured myself because I have never wanted to compare my penis to others or to insert worry where ignorance works just fine. What really makes me feel extraordinary is that I know for a fact how Wife feels about my cock, because she tells me about it all the time. I never get tired of hearing her praise it, or hearing her talk about wanting it wherever she desires it. Do I feel like she specifically worships my cock and potentially has an altar and gives offerings upon it? No. Am I certain that this isn't the case? Also, no.

I want to add that I love to worship Wife’s pussy. I love the way it tastes, the way it smells, the way it looks, and the multitude of ways it feels. It is the most magical pussy.

6. What can your partner do to you that makes you feel true bliss?

I am very much a touch fiend, and there are very special places on my body that when Wife goes to town on touching me there I literally see stars. If ANYTHING sexual is also going on, my mind just walks out and leaves me a pile of goo.

Bonus: Tell us about a time you were tempted. Did you give in or resist?

I remember the first time I was pressured for sex. My very first girlfriend kept pushing and tempting and teasing. I resisted initially because that is what a good Catholic boy was supposed to do, you were supposed to wait until marriage to have sex with a partner. I struggled with a whole mess of things that year, and overall sex seemed like the lesser of all the evils in my head to rationalize. Little did I know at the time, but the whole seduction and corruption thing was part of a plan to bring me to heel for her. There were a whole lot of not great times in that era of my life.

Sinful Sunday: Net the Moon

These fishnet stockings were originally ripped open by Husband one night when he desperately needed to fuck me.

Then, a few months later, Mia ripped them even more for the same reason. 

Last weekend, I wore them once more when I went out with my polycule. When we got home, Husband snapped this photo for Mia before thoroughly fucking me and ripping them again. I don’t think I’ll be able to wear them again, so I’ll need to buy some more. But it was totally worth it. 

TMI Tuesday: April 2, 2024

Happy Titty Tuesday!

It's time for TMI Tuesday, Erotic Home Edition.

1. When you bought your bed frame, did you evaluate it in terms of ropes, handcuffs, etc?

I didn't evaluate the bed frame. But we did shop around for a headboard that would be easy to use with those items. We never found one we liked in our price range. So, we didn't get a headboard.

2. Aside from beds, was sex ever a major consideration in choosing a piece of furniture?

Yes, when shopping for a new bed, we always get in a couple sex positions to see if the height of the bed is good.

3. Have you ever had anyone else (friend, mom) say a piece of your furniture was inappropriate because it was clearly for sexual purposes?

Yes. I used to have handcuffs on my bedposts when I was a teenager. I had Elmo hanging from one of them when not in use.

Little 18 year old me looking innocent as fuck

4. Do you have a piece of furniture that has a stain caused by bodily fluids (baby vomit not included)?

My mattress has bodily fluid stains on it. It happens.

5. Do you have anything in your beside table you wouldn’t want your father or mother to know about?

My father and mother have known I'm a freak. Who do you think I got it from?

6. Do you own any exercise equipment that is useful for sex?

Umm, no. Is this a thing?

7. Aside from your bedroom, what room do you have sex in most often?

The living room. Couch sex can be really fun.

8. Do you have any electronics (TV, stereo) etc in your bedroom that are on during sex?

I don't like to have the TV on during sex. It's incredibly distracting to me. I do like to play music though. 

TMI Tuesday: March 19, 2024

Today’s TMI Tuesday topic is sex photography and video.

1. Did you ever pose for pictures in sexual situations, or take pictures of a lover?

Yes, I've posed for lots of photos. I've also taken photos of a few lovers/partners.

2. Did you keep these pictures private between yourselves, or did others see them?

There are past lovers/partners that have sexy photos of me and I'm not sure if they have shared them with others or not. I also have sexy photos of my past lovers/partners. If they have given me permission to post publicly, I continue to share those photos. If they have not given me permission, I don't share those photos with anyone.

3. Did any of them ever get out in public with embarrassing results?

No, if they have shared any of my photos, I have not known about it to be embarrassed. It's kind of hard to embarrass someone who already puts everything out there for the world to see.

4. Were you ever videotaped having sex?

Many times, yes.

5. If so, was the tape ever made public?

If you consider Only Fans public, then yes.

6. Were you ever photographed or taped without your knowledge?

Not that I know of. But I wouldn't be surprised if I was.

Bonus: Post a picture of a body part.

Today is Titty Tuesday, afterall.

TMI Tuesday: March 12, 2024

Happy Titty Tuesday

It's time for TMI Tuesday sexy games edition.

1. Did you ever play strip poker (or strip spin-the-bottle, or similar)?

Did nudity result? Were there further developments? Details please.

I have never played strip poker but Mia recently told me that I would be horrible at that game and end up naked before everyone else because my face always tells on me. She's not wrong. I did play a game of Strip Uno with Husband once. There was nudity involved and we definitely fucked afterward. 

2. Did you ever play a nude party game, such as Naked Twister? Did it lead to anything further?

I've never played a nude party game but I have been nude at parties. I have also had sex in front of people at some of these parties. 

3. Did you ever play a game of Truth or Dare that led to nudity, or fondling, or more?

I mean, is it really a game of Truth or Dare if it doesn't involve nudity? I don't think I've ever played without that coming into play at some point. Also, I feel like this game never gets played in adulthood and that makes me sad. It's incredibly fun to learn truths about people and dare them to do things that take them out of their comfort zone.

4. Did you ever attend a party that led to sex with a more or less randomly chosen partner, i.e., swingers-lifestyle party, key party*?

*key party – A couples party where all of the men put their car keys into a bowl or bag and at the end of the party, the women blindly select a set of keys to determine who she goes home with for the rest of the evening for sexual gratification.

I have never had experiences with the swinger lifestyle. It doesn't really appeal to me. The key party actually sounds terrifying. I have to go home with a random person and have sex with them? What if I'm not attracted to them? That gives me way too much anxiety.

5. Did you ever participate in unexpected co-ed skinny dipping in a group?

I went to a pool party once in my teen years where everyone ended up naked in the pool. In my adult years, I've been naked in a lot of hot tubs with groups of people.

Bonus: Do you have a favorite fantasy about a sexy party? Please share.

I have a fantasy about a party turning into a bukkake. We're all just hanging out and then somehow it turns into a bunch of guys cumming all over me. Yes, please.

Sinful Sunday: Sexy Because

Black lace and fishnet: That's definitely Ash

The Sinful Sunday prompt for March is "Sexy because..." I thought a lot about this over the last couple weeks and it had me stumped. So, I decided to ask for help. I sent a text to each of my three partners and asked them, "What do you think is sexy about me?"

Husband said, "The curves of your hips and ass snuggled up tight into a pair of jeans. The curve of your lips when you smile while thinking of doing something sexual. The way your eyes light up when they are full of mischief."

Mia said, "The way you carry yourself with confidence. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, your intelligence, the way you light up about something you're super passionate about, and your looks. I find every inch of your body very sexy. So, short answer, it's your whole package."

Aidan said, "I really like your smile. I like how open you are to trying new things. Also just how open you are sexually. I like the face you make when you orgasm. You can also be playful and fun. Also, you have great boobs and your eyes are easy to get lost in."

So, am I sexy because I have a nice smile? Am I sexy because I have deep eyes that entrance you? Am I sexy because I have nice breasts? Am I sexy because I'm a mischievous little slut? I don't know. Maybe.

Truthfully, though, I think I am sexy because I am authentically me. Personality, confidence, beautiful face, curvy body, and all the other little things that make me Ash. I'm not afraid to openly and honestly be myself. And that, I think, is the most sexy of all.

Kiss the lips below to see who else is sinning