KOTW: Punishment

The Kink of the Week topic is punishment. Molly went on to say that for this topic, we are talking about real punishment and not faux-punishment (funishment).  Also, the Wicked Wednesday prompt is Breaking Rules, so that kind of fits in with this topic here.

At one time, I thought that real punishment was something I would be very into. I get a lot of enjoyment out of breaking the rules and thinking about getting punished for that excites me. Husband and I used to play with this in the past. He would ask if I ate that day or drank enough water or did something else he asked me to do, and if I hadn't done those things, I'd get spankings. It really bordered on that edge of punishment and "funishment" but I don't think it quite crossed that line into seriousness. It can be hard to find where that line is though.

I fantasize about having a Daddy that spanks me when I've been naughty and broke the rules he made for me but it would definitely have to be in a fun way. Thinking about it gets me really turned on but I know if it got too real, I'd have to use a safe word. Sometimes I feel kind of bratty during sex, so when Husband tells me to do something, I tell him no. Then, he might spank me or do something forceful but it's definitely in fun. It's not a real punishment.

It's been a very long time since this last happened but sometimes, when I get extremely depressed, I crave a very intense impact play session where I just get the crap beat out of me. Honestly, though, that's just a form of self-harm that I can feel less guilty about. It's not really about punishment at all. It's more of a coping mechanism. Probably an unhealthy one.

So, after trying it out a bit, I have found that even though I do enjoy breaking the rules a lot of the time, I really can't handle serious punishment at all. Not only do I not enjoy the lack of control I feel, but it basically just causes me to get angry and sad. This is because it transports me back to my childhood which was extremely abusive. It quickly turns into something much more serious and puts me in a place mentally that I really don't want to be.

So, in conclusion, while I like the initial thought of it, real punishment is not my kink. It is not for me. I'm much more into "funishment" instead. Let's just roleplay that I've been a bad girl who broke the rules and give me all the spankings that I secretly enjoy. Yum.