Ash:
1. What are your romantic needs?
Affection, passion, intimate conversation, honesty, thoughtfulness, appreciation, and being made to feel safe and secure. I don't like receiving gifts unless they really mean something. I prefer people to not spend money on me unless it is paying for an experience rather than material things. I love to receive things like little love notes or flowers you picked from the side of the road because they reminded you of me.
2. What are your sexual needs?
This is kind of hard to answer. I would like to have sex daily but I know that it's just not possible. Life happens, people get busy, and things don't always work out. I also know that my partners have never had the same sex drive that I have. I think I NEED to have sex at least twice a week or my emotional health is greatly affected. I need to feel wanted and desirable.
3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?
I think marriage is necessary for a lot of people, unfortunately. Not everyone has access to medical insurance and getting married allows one to be added to their spouse's insurance. You get tax breaks for being married and have rights that a domestic partner doesn't have. A lot of things in life are made easier just by being married. That being said, too many people rush into marriage and I don't think it should be taken as lightly as it is. On the other side of the coin, people should never feel like they can't divorce someone if it's just not working out.
4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?
No. I hate conflict with my partners. I try to talk things out before they get to a critical point but it's not always easy. I have a fear of abandonment that rears its ugly head when I bring up problems that I have in a relationship.
5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?
It really depends on the type of sex and my mood. There's a difference between romantic sex and fucking.
Husband:
1. What are your romantic needs?
Touch, intimacy, to feel special, to know that I am important, companionship, compassion, respect.
2. What are your sexual needs?
To feel desired, to feel wanted. To have sex often, not necessarily every day (even though I am open and up for it), but more often than not.
3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?
I believe that in the distant past that it was almost entirely a pragmatic institution. However, it most definitely is not solely that way now. I think that there are definite advantages given to married couples over non-married couples, which does still have a pragmatic draw for those in need of those advantages.
4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?
I don't find any kind of conflict exciting, regardless of where it happens. I would prefer to not get to a boiling point and have open communication about something rather than explode about it.
5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?
It depends on the sex, and what my focus is going into it, but I do always try to stay on point when it comes to quality.
Bonus: Men, what do you have a hard time talking to your lover(s) about?
I have a hard time keeping open communication about how I am feeling, what I want, and what I need. It is so hard for me to stay up and open about everything through all the ups and downs of daily life, work, and mental health swings. Most of the time I shove it away to deal with later, which isn't the right way to go about it.
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