Kink of the Week: Humiliation

When I first entered the kink scene, I didn't think that I would ever be into humiliation. I'm not interested in humiliating others and the thought of being humiliated myself turned my stomach. I thought it was just too much for me to handle mentally. I am a person who has a lot of psychological trauma. Some of the things that I've seen in humiliation scenes are things that could cause me to withdraw into a very dark place in my mind and my mental health would be deeply damaged. There was no way I could put myself through that.

I have since realized that humiliation is a subjective issue. Each person is turned on by different things and my scene wouldn't have to be the same as another person's scene. It's okay to have hard limits to protect my mental health. Since realizing this, I have felt more comfortable treading carefully into the humiliation scene.

A big part of humiliation is words. Words make you feel things. They can make you feel good or they can make you feel bad. The point of erotic humiliation is to shame a person in such a way that it causes them to feel turned on. It isn't meant to tear a person down to the point that you can't put them back together again. The Top must be sure that what they are saying isn't going to damage the Bottom's mental health or trigger anxieties that they have difficulty dealing with. It's a very good idea to go over hard limits before engaging in a humiliation scene so that damage is not done.


There are a few things that are an absolute no-go for me when it comes to humiliation. One thing I do not enjoy is having my physical flaws pointed out. I don't want to be made to feel ashamed of my body. I would have a hard time feeling comfortable being naked in front of someone if they made me feel that way. I also do not enjoy being called derogatory names unless they have something to do with me being a slut. Don't call me fat, ugly, worthless, pathetic, stupid, etc. That is a huge trigger for me.


So, what aspects of humiliation do I enjoy? There's actually a larger list than I anticipated when I first started thinking about writing this. I'll try to break them down a bit.

Words are a huge turn-on for me. Not just the words themselves but the way they are said. Call me a dirty slut or a filthy whore. Point out how desperate I am for your cock. Make me beg for it. Tell me that I'm just your fuck toy, that you're going to use me to get off. Tease me about how turned on I am. "Wow, you're already wet and I haven't even touched you yet." Say all of these things in a way that makes me know you want me as much as I want you. If you sound disgusted by me, that's going to turn me off immediately.

I'm also into some things that could be considered physical humiliation. Shove your cock in my mouth and fuck my face until I gasp for air and have tears running down my cheeks. Fill all three of my holes because I'm such a slut. Hold me down and fuck me even though I scream out for you to stop. "Shut up and take it, you fucking slut." All of these things will turn me on more than you can even imagine.

There are a few things that I want to try that could fit the definition of humiliation. Bukakke is a huge fantasy of mine. I just want to be covered in all of the cum. I also want to have a consensual non-consent scene where I am belittled and possibly slapped in the face. This one would have to be explored carefully due to my psychological trauma but I definitely want to try it. Another thing that I have thought about is having my partner pee on me. It's something that has always piqued my interest but I'm not sure if I would enjoy it or not. I've always been too embarrassed to bring it up in the past.

I've saved the biggest one for last. I fantasize a lot about being sexually subservient. I want to be used for sexual purposes. For example, being on the receiving end of a glory hole. Just having random men shove their cocks in the hole and me being forced to pleasure them. Or an even bigger fantasy, being pimped out. Having my husband whore me out to others. Maybe they pay for sex with me or maybe I'm just forced to pleasure his friend. I'm not sure if any of these would realistically happen, but the thought excites me so much.

I've come a long way from feeling like humiliation is not for me. I am definitely not hardcore about it but I do enjoy certain aspects of humiliation very much. This is one reason that I'll try almost anything twice, just to be sure if I like it or not.

TMI Tuesday: July 23, 2019

I didn't care for this week's TMI Tuesday questions, so I went back to one that I missed last month.




Ash:
1. How many sexual partners do you currently have?
My husband is the only sexual partner that I have right now. I do have a FWB, Jacob, who I occasionally have sex with but it's kind of rare. I wish I had more.

2. Do you have any sexy secret kinks you have not told a current lover, and why are you so secretive?
A. I don’t want to do my kinks with my current partner
B. Partner would be shocked
C. Partner may get upset
D. I have no secrets
I can think of only one thing that I haven't discussed with my partner. I guess the reason that I haven't is B. I'm afraid he may be put off by it.

3. Have you ever been naked in public? (e.g., nude beach, nudist camp, randomly)
A. Yes – loved it
B. Yes – but would not do it again
C. No – but would consider it
D. No – would not ever do that
A. I've been to a nudist camp and I've gone to nudist parties. I love the nudist crowd. They are very accepting. There is something very freeing about being nude outdoors.

4. When at home I prefer to be:
A. Naked
B. Dressed
Naked. We are nudists. We spent a lot of time nude at home. If you show up unannounced, we will probably be nude.

5. Would you rather wrestle naked in a pool of Jello or chocolate pudding?
If the Jello is not cold, I pick that. I think it would feel really good. Warm pudding would also feel nice. I definitely go with Jello though. I'm imagining what it would feel like squishing around my body and I think it would be amazing.



Husband:
1. How many sexual partners do you currently have?
One.

2. Do you have any sexy secret kinks you have not told a current lover, and why are you so secretive?
A. I don’t want to do my kinks with my current partner
B. Partner would be shocked
C. Partner may get upset
D. I have no secrets
D. I have no secrets. I think that whenever I discover something else that I enjoy kinkily it ends up being a topic of discussion over dinner or while in bed.

3. Have you ever been naked in public? (e.g., nude beach, nudist camp, randomly)
A. Yes – loved it
B. Yes – but would not do it again
C. No – but would consider it
D. No – would not ever do that
Yes and loved it! I've been to a nudist camp with Wife before, which was my first time. I fell in love with nudity at that time. I never really knew it was a thing until then. Since then I've attended three World Naked Bike Rides, one just this past Saturday, and they were all incredible.

4. When at home I prefer to be:
A. Naked
B. Dressed
Naked at home, prefer nudity as often as possible and acceptable.

5. Would you rather wrestle naked in a pool of Jello or chocolate pudding?
A pool of Jello sounds more enjoyable to me, I've never been party to either one, and I honestly imagine that I am picturing it differently than it actually would be.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Sinful Sunday: Red Light

Husband recently took this photo while I was swimming in a friend's pool after dark. I love how artsy it looks.




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Kink of the Week: Knife Play

Knife play. It sounds scary but what exactly is it?

Knife play is a kink in which knives are used as edgeplay tools. Edgeplay is when a Top takes the Bottom to the very edge of their psychological limits. So, essentially, knife play is used by the Top to push the Bottom to the edge of what they can handle by either cutting, scratching, or instilling fear.

When I first found out what knife play was, I was absolutely against it but not because I was feeling judgy and thought it was wrong. I had a serious self-harm problem from the time that I was seven years old until my mid-twenties. I have it under control now, but the thought of possibly going back down that road was very scary to me. After watching knife play scenes at play parties and reading stories written about experiences that others have had, I've realized that I'm very turned on by the thought of having it done to me and I don't think that it would trigger me in that way.

I've always been intrigued by the dark things in life. The more twisted and creepy something is, the more I'm into it. I'm a goth girl who decorates her house with bats, spiders, and other creepy things year-round. I read books about serial killers and watch murder documentaries. I very much enjoy watching rape and torture scenes in movies. So, I'm not surprised at all about the fact that knife play turns me on so much.
(Note: I am very much against murder, sexual assault, and torture in real life. It's all just fantasies in my head and I promise that I'm not a horrible person.)

I'm going to break down a few elements that I like about knife play.

One thing that really turns me on about knife play is the sensation that it would create. I am a huge sensation whore. I love being touched and I want to feel all the things on my body. Sensation play is the only thing that has ever gotten me to subspace and I love it so much. It is my most favorite scene to have. I want to feel the end of the knife poke me. I want to feel the cold metal against my skin. I want to feel it scratching me. I might even like feeling it cut me. Thinking about it is giving me goosebumps.

The marks left behind are another thing that excites me about knife play. Scratches, welts, and cuts are all possibilities of marks left behind after a knifeplay scene. Imagining myself running my hand over the welts left on my body from a knife leaves me breathless. The knife could be used to draw a picture, like a heart or a star. It could even be used to write words or draw lines in a pattern. I would love any and all of those things. Marks left on my body are always very exciting for me.

Though I've had a fascination with vampires since my teenage years, I'm not a fan of drinking blood. I don't enjoy that copper taste at all. I am very excited by the thought of being covered in blood though. So, the potential for blood play is another thing that excites me about knife play. Being covered in blood, rubbing it all over my body, having dirty words written on my body with it, watching it flow down the drain as I wash it off. Fuck, that turns me on so much. I've also been thinking about buying a vampire paddle for this purpose. A vampire paddle is a stiff leather or wooden paddle that has sharp metal pins that stick out 2-3 millimeters, just long enough to prick your skin and make you bleed. The idea is that as you are being spanked, the pins are also poking through your skin to give extra sensation. I have never used one but I love the idea of having it used on me!

The idea of the knife being used to cut clothing off of my body sends shivers down my spine. That is so fucking hot. I'm imagining Husband being so turned on by me that he just can't take it anymore. He needs to be inside me right now. So, he cuts my panties off with a knife and then shoves his cock into my pussy. Oh, fuck! Yes! Or, maybe he would use it to cut off my clothing in a consensual non-consent scene.

Consensual non-consent is a huge turn-on for me. I've fantasized a lot about using knife play in those scenes. I know that extreme care would have to be taken in order to be completely safe but I know it would really get me off. The idea of someone threatening to do awful things to me if I don't do as they say feels equally terrifying, intense, and exciting. I can feel myself getting wet at this thought.

The mind fuck of knife play is very intriguing to me. How do I know if a knife is sharp or dull? How can I be sure if the sharp or dull side is scraping across my skin if I can't see it? What if I flinch and he cuts off my nipple? What if he accidentally hurts me? The element of fear is very real when doing a knife play scene. I know that I'm safe and that he wouldn't hurt me but the knowledge that he could hurt me if he wanted to is enough to make me feel terrified. I imagine that it's a constant fight to reassure your brain that you will be okay. It very well could be too much for me when all is said and done but I'll never know unless I try it.


I have always loved knives. They are scary and sexy all at the same time. We even own a large collection of knives (way more than is pictured above), however, we have never used them in a scene. I've mentioned quite a few times that I want to try knife play but Husband and I have yet to do it. We have gone to a class to learn more about how to do it but I don't think Husband is feeling confident enough to try it yet. Honestly, I'm not sure what is holding him back. Probably the fear of hurting me. I've just given him space to figure it out and tried not to push for it. Now that I've written all of this, I think I should make a point to bring it up again. Hopefully, we can try it soon and I can write an update about how I feel about it.

Sinful Sunday: Grab a Handful

I don't often post full body shots. I'm usually too hung up on picking apart my flaws. I'm trying really hard to love my body and to stop being so hard on myself.




Check out who else is sinning by clicking the lips below.

Kilted Eye Candy

The Sinful Sunday prompt for July is One Shot Two Ways. For this prompt, I decided to shoot one subject in two poses.

I had been thinking about doing a photo shoot of Husband in his kilt and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.








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TMI Tuesday: July 2, 2019

Hello my sexies! Let’s get it on with TMI Tuesday.




Ash:
1. What excites you beyond belief?
Hands. I have a hand fetish and nothing excites me like a beautiful pair of hands. Soft skin, long fingers, well manicured fingernails. Yes!!! Stick them inside me, please!

2. Your significant other has asked you to sleep with his cock in your mouth, what are your first thoughts? Would you say yes or no? Why?
Umm, is this a thing? It doesn't sound safe. What if I grind my teeth? What if my nose gets stuffy and I need to breathe through my mouth? I think that's going on the list of hard limits. I love having a cock in my mouth but that just seems too risky...for both of us.

3. Have you ever had someone sleep with your cock in their mouth?
No. I've also never slept with someone else's cock in my mouth. I have slept with a cock in my pussy though.

4. Fill in the blank: Spank _____ .
Spank my ass, please. It's been a while.

5. Write a sexy sentence (or two) and use the phrase ‘harness of rope’.
He tied a harness of rope around her chest. She loved the security that she felt under the rope. Then, he bound her hands behind her back. She felt helpless and secure all at once. He looked her in the eyes and said, "That's my good girl." She melted instantly upon hearing those words.

Bonus: Who do you laugh and play with more often– your friends or your significant other?
My significant other. I don't really have many friends.



Husband:
1. What excites you beyond belief?
When Wife tells me to do things to her. When I go down on Wife and she grabs my head and holds me tight against her when she is close to orgasm. When Wife trails her fingers along my body. When Wife rides on top of me or when she puts her ass in my face. When Wife licks and sucks and nips at my neck.

2. Your significant other has asked you to sleep with his cock in your mouth, what are your first thoughts? Would you say yes or no? Why?
First thoughts would be curiosity about the whole thing, because it isn't something that ever occurred to me to try. I'd likely say no because I grind my teeth in my sleep and that might be a dangerous sleeping situation for them.

3. Have you ever had someone sleep with your cock in their mouth?
Nope. Not something on my wishlist of things I'd like to have happen.

4. Fill in the blank: Spank _____ .
Spank it, spank it real good.

5. Write a sexy sentence (or two) and use the phrase ‘harness of rope’.
At the last play party Wife and I attended there was a couple doing rope play and were working up to do a suspension. It got me thinking about how it would play out for Wife and I to be working rope in our hopeful future basement. Where I would be able to wrap her up in a harness of rope and lift her off the ground bound tightly in security and my love.

Bonus: Who do you laugh and play with more often– your friends or your significant other?
More with Wife than friends, and the reasoning is more or less simply because I don't spend very much time with my friends with most of them being in other states. That doesn't mean that I would rather laugh and play with my friends over Wife, because I love that time with her. If we include my workmates, then it fluctuates depending on how much extra time I am stuck at work.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!