I have since realized that humiliation is a subjective issue. Each person is turned on by different things and my scene wouldn't have to be the same as another person's scene. It's okay to have hard limits to protect my mental health. Since realizing this, I have felt more comfortable treading carefully into the humiliation scene.
A big part of humiliation is words. Words make you feel things. They can make you feel good or they can make you feel bad. The point of erotic humiliation is to shame a person in such a way that it causes them to feel turned on. It isn't meant to tear a person down to the point that you can't put them back together again. The Top must be sure that what they are saying isn't going to damage the Bottom's mental health or trigger anxieties that they have difficulty dealing with. It's a very good idea to go over hard limits before engaging in a humiliation scene so that damage is not done.
There are a few things that are an absolute no-go for me when it comes to humiliation. One thing I do not enjoy is having my physical flaws pointed out. I don't want to be made to feel ashamed of my body. I would have a hard time feeling comfortable being naked in front of someone if they made me feel that way. I also do not enjoy being called derogatory names unless they have something to do with me being a slut. Don't call me fat, ugly, worthless, pathetic, stupid, etc. That is a huge trigger for me.
So, what aspects of humiliation do I enjoy? There's actually a larger list than I anticipated when I first started thinking about writing this. I'll try to break them down a bit.
Words are a huge turn-on for me. Not just the words themselves but the way they are said. Call me a dirty slut or a filthy whore. Point out how desperate I am for your cock. Make me beg for it. Tell me that I'm just your fuck toy, that you're going to use me to get off. Tease me about how turned on I am. "Wow, you're already wet and I haven't even touched you yet." Say all of these things in a way that makes me know you want me as much as I want you. If you sound disgusted by me, that's going to turn me off immediately.
I'm also into some things that could be considered physical humiliation. Shove your cock in my mouth and fuck my face until I gasp for air and have tears running down my cheeks. Fill all three of my holes because I'm such a slut. Hold me down and fuck me even though I scream out for you to stop. "Shut up and take it, you fucking slut." All of these things will turn me on more than you can even imagine.
There are a few things that I want to try that could fit the definition of humiliation. Bukakke is a huge fantasy of mine. I just want to be covered in all of the cum. I also want to have a consensual non-consent scene where I am belittled and possibly slapped in the face. This one would have to be explored carefully due to my psychological trauma but I definitely want to try it. Another thing that I have thought about is having my partner pee on me. It's something that has always piqued my interest but I'm not sure if I would enjoy it or not. I've always been too embarrassed to bring it up in the past.
I've saved the biggest one for last. I fantasize a lot about being sexually subservient. I want to be used for sexual purposes. For example, being on the receiving end of a glory hole. Just having random men shove their cocks in the hole and me being forced to pleasure them. Or an even bigger fantasy, being pimped out. Having my husband whore me out to others. Maybe they pay for sex with me or maybe I'm just forced to pleasure his friend. I'm not sure if any of these would realistically happen, but the thought excites me so much.
I've come a long way from feeling like humiliation is not for me. I am definitely not hardcore about it but I do enjoy certain aspects of humiliation very much. This is one reason that I'll try almost anything twice, just to be sure if I like it or not.
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