I Need My Space
Ash:
1. Do you think that fate or destiny play a role in love?
a. Absolutely
b. For the most part
c. Somewhat
d. Not really
e. Not at all
Hmmm. That's a hard question to answer. I'll have to go with C. I do believe in soul mates. I know that my husband is my soul mate and I think it's totally possible that we were supposed to meet. We were both in that chat room on AOL that day and that seems like such a strange coincidence. Sometimes when I'm running late because of something outside of my control and things end up working out for the best, I can't help but think, "It was meant to be this way." On the other hand, I don't think my destiny is completely written. I have the power to make decisions and change my life for better or worse. This question is making me think too much. I have to walk away now.
2. True or False – If my sexual likes and dislikes are not in line with my partners, I change them.
False. If I dislike something, I am probably not going to do it, however, if it just does nothing for me but pleases my partner, I will do it. That being said, I will try almost anything twice. If I like something and my partner doesn't, I will probably just try to find someone else to do it with. I don't want to force anyone to do anything they don't want to do. It's perfectly okay to be who you are. You shouldn't change just because you like or dislike something.
3. You and your partner are at a party. Both of you are equally acquainted with the hosts and the other people attending, although you aren’t the best of pals with any of the guests, you have conversed with them on a few occasions. During the socializing, what would you most likely do?
a. I’d stay glued to my partner’s side, conversing with the same people he/she is.
b. I’d be away from my partner, mingling with the other guests.
c. I’d stay near my partner, but involved in different conversations.
d. I spend some time by my partner’s side, and some time mingling.
e. I let my partner drift or stick by me – as she/he wishes.
Mostly A but a little C. We are both socially awkward and it helps to have someone next to you that calms your soul.
4. Have you ever gone through your partner’s journal, diary or personal letters?
a. Yes – I‘ve read it/them from A to Z.
b. Yes – I’ve read some of it/them.
c. I know where she/he keeps them but I haven’t read any.
d. I know where she/he keeps them – I couldn’t help but look – but I haven’t read any.
e. No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, and I have no intention of looking.
f. No – I don’t know she/he keeps them, even though I’ve looked.
C. I don't read my husband's journal. I know where he keeps it, but I haven't touched it. I've only read things he has given me to read. I respect his privacy. Though, recently, I had to snoop a little in his phone (first time ever) because he was not being honest with me. That caused a lot of emotional chaos at home that we are still working through.
5. Have you ever had a romantic partner go through your journal, diary, personal letters or text messages without your permission? How did you feel? What did you do?
Text messages, yes. I didn't care. I don't hide anything from my partners. I'm honest to a fault.
Bonus: What makes you feel loved?
My love language is physical touch, followed very closely by quality time. I feel loved when I am touched (play with my hair, rub my back, hold my hand, kiss me, put your hand on my leg, etc.) and also when someone spends quality time with me (take me out on a date, pillow talk at night, ask me questions and actually listen to the answer, just talk to me even if it's just venting to me, make me feel seen, anything that makes me feel like I actually have your undivided attention). I need a balance of both of these things to feel loved.
Husband:
1. Do you think that fate or destiny play a role in love?
a. Absolutely
b. For the most part
c. Somewhat
d. Not really
e. Not at all
Not really. I do not feel beholden to fate or destiny, but I cannot say that I feel that my destiny has been nudged or pushed in different directions than what I thought it was going to be. I definitely feel as though I have more control than not.
2. True or False – If my sexual likes and dislikes are not in line with my partners, I change them.
Tralse. I will budge and try things out, sometimes it turns out I enjoy them as well, other times not so much. It is a balance between the two.
3. You and your partner are at a party. Both of you are equally acquainted with the hosts and the other people attending, although you aren’t the best of pals with any of the guests, you have conversed with them on a few occasions. During the socializing, what would you most likely do?
a. I’d stay glued to my partner’s side, conversing with the same people he/she is.
b. I’d be away from my partner, mingling with the other guests.
c. I’d stay near my partner, but involved in different conversations.
d. I spend some time by my partner’s side, and some time mingling.
e. I let my partner drift or stick by me – as she/he wishes.
A and C. I prefer to stay near Wife when I am at parties, regardless of how comfortable or acquainted I am. If I do leave her side I don't stay away too long. Most of the time I do actively engage with the same people she is, but I do get distracted easily and sometimes jump from conversation to conversation.
4. Have you ever gone through your partner’s journal, diary or personal letters?
a. Yes – I‘ve read it/them from A to Z.
b. Yes – I’ve read some of it/them.
c. I know where she/he keeps them but I haven’t read any.
d. I know where she/he keeps them – I couldn’t help but look – but I haven’t read any.
e. No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, and I have no intention of looking.
f. No – I don’t know she/he keeps them, even though I’ve looked.
E. I honestly don't know if Wife has things like this, and I don't go looking either. Usually when we are rearranging rooms, sorting through items we come across letters or things like this and we share them together and talk about them.
5. Have you ever had a romantic partner go through your journal, diary, personal letters or text messages without your permission? How did you feel? What did you do?
Wife has my permission to go through whatever she would like, whenever she would like. Recently I really fucked up with communicating how things were going and now I am working on rebuilding that trust.
Bonus: What makes you feel loved?
When I get welcomed after being away from home. When I get touches for no reason other than I am close. Being held. Touches to calm me down, touches to let me know everything is okay, touches to let me know I am wanted. Touches. I like touch a lot.
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