I have a very good long term memory. I can remember things as far back as when I was 2 years old. I vividly remember sitting in my high chair eating breakfast and watching wrestling with my grandpa. I loved Hulk Hogan. There are so many early childhood memories that have stayed with me all these years. This is how I know that I was born a nymphomaniac.
From as far back as my memories go, I was obsessed with masturbation. I was always touching myself. Not just because I was curious but because my vulva was always tingly and it felt so good to stimulate it. When I was 4 years old, I was playing in my mom's room. I found a Penthouse magazine on the headboard of her bed. I opened it up and was amazed at what I saw. My older sister ended up walking in on me and told my mom that I was reading her "dirty magazine." I got in trouble for it but I didn't care. I needed to see more. I started to sneak into my mom's room often to find any other magazines that I could. When I was 5 years old, I accidentally tore my hymen while masturbating. My finger went too far inside my vagina and it burned and felt very painful. I remember being afraid that I had hurt myself badly. I told my mom what had happened and she brushed it off and said I was fine. I was a little shaken up but that didn't stop me.
By the time I was 8, I started experimenting further by sticking toys into my vagina. I would insert Barbie legs, markers, crayons, doll hands, etc. During bath time, I would lie on my belly and slide my body up and down the length of the bathtub while touching myself. Around this time, my stepdad started watching porn in the living room. I would peek around the corner from my room and watch it without him knowing. I was so intrigued. Watching the people hump each other gave me ideas. I remember lying on the cement basement floor, humping the ground because the coldness felt so good on my genitals. I progressed from there and started to put dolls underneath me and hump them.
I continued to masturbate a LOT throughout my childhood. Even when I wasn't masturbating, I was always thinking about sex. My Barbie dolls were always having sex. When I was 11, I got my period for the first time. I had gotten some tampon samples from school. Instead of using them for their intended purpose, I decided to masturbate with them. When I was 13, I found my mom's dildo in her room. I couldn't help myself. I took it to the bathroom, washed it to make sure it was clean, and then stuck it inside my vagina. It felt amazing and after that day, I became obsessed with losing my virginity.
I got my first boyfriend soon after that. I begged him to have sex with me. We were only 13 and he wasn't ready, so he told me no. I harassed him about it a lot. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't want to experience that pleasure. It shouldn't come as a surprise that he broke up with me. I did the same thing to my next three boyfriends. None of them would have sex with me either. I felt like I was so horny that I was losing my mind. Sex was all I could think about. It was definitely an obsession.
Even after all of the masturbating I had done, I still hadn't achieved an orgasm. To be honest, I didn't even know girls could have orgasms. When I was 14, the room I had at my mom's house didn't have a door. I hung a sheet up to give a little bit of privacy but it didn't help much. My room was attached to my younger sister's room, so she would often walk in no matter how many times I asked her to knock first. My room was also attached to the garage, so my step dad was always walking through unannounced. He was a mechanic, so he basically lived in the garage. Because of all of that, I did most of my daytime masturbating in the bathroom. One day I was sitting on the toilet masturbating, as I often did, and I felt this intense build-up and then a very powerful release. Pleasure shot through my body and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I whispered to myself, "What the fuck was that?" From that point on, I started masturbating in very unhealthy amounts. I was having at least 30 orgasms per day. I would even go to the bathroom at school and masturbate there. I started to fantasize about getting raped just so I could finally lose my virginity. I felt so desperate. I kept hearing that boys are full of hormones and just want to get into your pants. But every boy I tried to have sex with kept turning me down. It was driving me crazy.
When I was 15, I started having a lot of phone sex with random people I met on the internet. They would call me and tell me about all the things they wanted to do to me. It excited me so much. I was finally getting some sexual attention and it felt amazing. It wasn't long after that when I started giving blow jobs out like handshakes. Every time I would find myself alone with a guy, I'd go down on him. I figured if I couldn't find a guy who would take my virginity, at least I could have a penis inside one of my holes. I couldn't even tell you how many guys I sucked off. There were so many.
Soon after I turned 16, I finally got a boyfriend who agreed to have sex with me. I lost my virginity and it wasn't a disappointment. A few days later, I even talked him into trying anal sex. I moved in with him 2 months later. We had so much sex. Throughout our 1.5 year relationship, there wasn't a day that went by that we didn't have sex at least once. I wanted to have sex every couple hours but that was way too much for him. I had to live with 1-3 times per day. To a normal person, I'm sure that sounds like a lot of sex. But it didn't feel like enough for me. I was constantly trying to grab his penis or suck on it. He got irritated and I didn't understand. I had always been taught that men always wanted sex. Well, apparently not as much as I do.
Throughout the rest of my teenage years and halfway through my 20s, I lusted after so many people and fantasized about having sex with them. I was always too scared of being thought of as slutty. Too scared of having the number of people I had sex with go into double digits. Too scared of STIs. So, even though everything in my body was telling me to have sex with as many people as I could, my brain told me no. Sometimes I feel thankful for that since being young and promiscuous can be a bad combination. Other times, I feel like I missed out on so many opportunities.
At this point in my life, I have let go of the worries about being seen as a slut. I actually enjoy feeling slutty or being called a slut. I don't care about my number of sex partners getting higher anymore. That doesn't bother me at all. I'll admit that I'm still terrified of STIs but I'm very into safe sex, so hopefully that will never be an issue.
The truth is, I lust hard. I'm very picky but when I crush on someone, it gets intense in my head. I can't stop thinking about it and if I can't have what I want, it's hard for me to accept. I love having sex with new people. The idea of experiencing a lot of different penises inside me is so exciting. I love sex with my husband. Our sex life is amazing. He pleases me like no one else ever has but I'm not sure I could go on in life having sex with only him. I know that if I did, I would never be truly satisfied. I'm constantly thinking about sex. I can't get it out of my head. Even in normal everyday conversation, I'm thinking about sex and wishing that's what we were talking about instead of whatever it is we are discussing. Most of the things that come out of my mouth have something to do with sex. I feel like I have a constant hard on. My clit is always tingling. This is just who I am and always have been. A nymphomaniac.
