Time for TMI Tuesday!
If, Ands, and Butts
Ash:
1. If you had a magic beauty wand, what would you give yourself?
a. Shinier hair, hands down.
b. Glowing, soft skin–pass the moisturizer dude.
c. Brighter eyes, with no crows feet—I want to look less tired.
d. Nada. I love what I’ve got.
c. Brighter eyes, with no crows feet. These days, my eyes have been really puffy and tired looking. I hate it so much. I would love to find a good eye cream that actually works.
2. If you were spring cleaning your life what five things would you throw out?
First, I would throw out my anxiety. I've had enough of that shit.
Second, I would get rid of my depression. I'm tired of feeling like I don't matter and that no one cares about me. If my brain could stop that shit, that would be wonderful.
Third, I would love to get rid of my social awkwardness. I wasn't always this way. In high school, I was super fucking confident. Sometime after high school, I started to doubt myself and now I have a shit ton of anxiety. I guess I work backwards in life.
Fourth, I would probably throw out some of my sexual needs. My sex drive is way too high for a normal person and I have yet to find anyone who has close to the same appetite. If I weren't so horny all the time, I would probably be a lot less sexually frustrated.
Lastly, I would throw out my childhood trama. Honestly, that in itself is probably the cause of 80% of my issues.
3. If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?
I'd like a castle about 30 minutes from the beach in California. Something with a nice dungeon. A place where I could throw amazing kink parties. Two or three ovens, a HUGE bathtub, a large fireplace, and an indoor swimming pool.
4. Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlor AND had a “happy ending”?
No, I doubt that is something I'd be into honestly.
Bonus: Using the handy chart above, what is your butt type, spanked or not?
I would say my butt is most like the anchor butt. I'll take the standard issue spanks, please. Mmmm. It's way too damn long since I've had my ass beat. Neeeeed.
Husband:
1. If you had a magic beauty wand, what would you give yourself?
a. Shinier hair, hands down.
b. Glowing, soft skin–pass the moisturizer dude.
c. Brighter eyes, with no crows feet—I want to look less tired.
d. Nada. I love what I’ve got.
c. Brighter eyes, with no crows feet—I want to look less tired. I'm going to go with the eyes. It is easily my favorite feature and one I have been told is very bold and piercing already, so why not level it up even more. Plus also, I am sure I look tired all the time, so that would be great to not worry about that either.
2. If you were spring cleaning your life what five things would you throw out?
I'd like to get rid of my anxiety first and foremost. I feel like it negatively impacts my life and those around me the most. It isn't something I can grow from, or anyone else can really grow from. So fuck that. Secondly, let's get rid of my defensiveness which is probably my second most negative impacting thing, which again causes no good growth. After those, I guess we can get rid of my timidity, my broken internal radars, and lastly let's get rid of that pesky mortality thing! ;-D
3. If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?
A castle, set into a mountainside. With many secret passages, room sized fireplaces, escape tunnels, and a large library. There are massive ideas that I have had in my head since I was a kid that I have simply added on to the original. My castle would be a fantastic place to be.
4. Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlor AND had a “happy ending”?
I have not. I imagine that this is actually a thing, and not just something hidden on the menu like many cool and crazy drinks at Starbucks? If it isn't I'm not sure how one would go about becoming part of one as well as a happy ending.
Bonus: Using the handy chart above, what is your butt type, spanked or not?
Heart I think. Though standard issue or hot tamale also look like what I have been told it looks like.
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